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Part 2: Business Is Different for You–The Reckoning

May 10, 2016 by Lizabeth Phelps

Yesterday, I wrote about the destructive war within 90% of“transformation artists”—those whose work it is to empower people (vs. other entrepreneurs). The war is this: they have a powerful Impulse that woke them up to this work, an Impulse that consumes them, really, to have an effect on the world…but then an opposing force works on them to stay in cozy-and-comfortable. That’s the Hider.

I told the story of losing my cool on an audience of transformation artists—who have the most direct access to the Impulse of any group I know—yet who gave me a flaccid response to a powerful question I asked them: “Is it all right for you to be in the middle-of-the curve where good enough is good enough?”

I got mad at them—(for them)—but if I’d had time, I would have led them into the fields to get in touch with the cost of living this way, and facilitate a moment of reckoning for them, where they would decide once and for all that they’d had enough.

That moment of reckoning is best done just as it was for Scarlett O’Hara in Gone With the Wind: in the fields of your life, where the ground is parched and cracked from lack of nourishment, where it is impossible for you to ignore the effects of your choices on your psyche, your family, your self-regard.

Because the truth is, that ground on which you stand is a result of the decisions you’ve made. If you’re hiding out in the middle-of-the-curve, where mediocrity reigns, it was your decision to lower your standards and sell your soul for security. It was your decision to make comfort more important than the Impulse that brought you to this work. It was your decision to get your ducks in order rather than get your butt out the door to sell.

But here’s the great, great, GREAT news: it can be your decision that turns all of that around–and on a dime.

It’s just a decision. Scarlett made it: “As God as my witness, I will never go hungry again!”

It’s a decision of determined emotion—it’s not intellectual. In my days as an empowerment coach, I would stimulate this Scarlett O’Hara Moment with clients who desperately needed it, and I could hear when it was coming from their head. Scarlett was not in her head. She was in her soul. She was in her past and she was in her probable future–and she hated them both. She was done with both of them. When you’re done, you know it in every fiber of your being.

The other emotion was hope—belief that it could be another way. She saw herself living in prosperity and beauty. Belief is key to the moment of reckoning.

And then there is the cut-off—and it’s an emotional experience. It is the decision that there is no other option.  It is the decision to burn all boats. “If I have to lie, steal, cheat or kill…”

I’ll do whatever it takes. There is no other option.

It all happens in a single instant. Lives can change–yours can change–in the snap of a finger.

I dare say that all internal struggle is a failure to decide. If an issue in your life is dragging on, you are failing to make a decision. Make that decision—have your in-the-fields moment of reckoning—and 1:02 pm will be diametrically opposite to 1:01pm, setting in motion an entirely new life.

And here’s the truth about decisions: when they’re made—full-bodied, full-sensory decisions—the struggle is behind you. The struggle was in not deciding. Once you have, you’ll see that everything that follows is like a tumble down the hill!

I made one of the most shocking decisions of my life one year ago when I decided to stop eating carbs. In a dressing room last April, I had a Scarlett O’Hara moment–the emotion, the disgust, the done-ness. I said to myself, “Why don’t you give carbs up for two days.” In that instant, I decided to do it.  And after that day, I decided to make it permanent.  To everyone’s jaw-dropping surprise, one year later, I hardly have them. Let me reiterate: I loved my carbs. They gave me great joy! No one ever could have convinced me that I would enjoy eating more without them! If I had tried to eliminate them (“trying” is impotence dressed up to impress), I would have failed. But there was no trying; only deciding.

If you want to get out of mediocrity—anywhere in your life—you can do it. And it can be easy! It can be like sliding down a slide at your favorite amusement park, if you wish. But only when you take yourself out to the fields and decide. Decide means to “cut off” in Latin.

Cut off what has not worked by declaring: “As God (or whatever) is my witness, I will never __________ again!!”

If the Impulse came to you years ago and “infected” you with the need to make a dent in the universe, get yourself into your field now. There is no excuse for languishing in the middle-of-the curve!!

And whatever you do, don’t stay in hiding as you take time deciding about deciding!! LOL. You don’t need 5 months of therapy to make a decision.  You don’t even need a coach.

You just need to come face-to-face with the costs of your own destructive choices, get in touch with the hope and belief in something so much better–and harness the courage to cut-off all options but the one that brings change!

If you want bigger, you have to BE bigger! And that can happen in an instant. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

I dare you to take yourself to your proverbial field and raise your own fist to the heavens. Tonight.

What will you say?
Continue on to Part 3, where we look at the typical positioning strategies you’ve been told to use—but that come straight from the middle-of-the-curve gurus. Business is different for you. Be different!