Real Examples of Bad Business Communication–Corrected!

Years ago, I led a 5-week training class called, 12 Sentences. Coaches and consultants came to me to develop their business identity (and messaging) by having to answer 12 questions, in 12 concise, single-sentences. These were the questions that prospects always have in the backs of their minds. It was challenging for them, to say the least!

I am a professorial group leader (and private consultant), which means that I stay up into the wee hours to “correct papers”–and in the case of my 12 Sentences students, correct their sentences.

In this post, I am sharing a rare–and I mean never, ever, ever before seen–glimpse into how I shape clients’ and students’ language to be more effective. These are actual sentences students sent me, and my replies to them. Be ready to be fire-hosed with tips you’ve probably never heard before! Got a pen? You’ll want to take notes. (And you’ll also want to join my twice-monthly group, ILLUMINATE, focused *solely* on persuasive communications. I’ll do with you there, what you’ll see below.)

Student #1 wrote:

Whatever you do, you HAVE to find a way to stop twisting, denying, controlling and diverting the life force within you.

Lizabeth’s response:
I’d like to see you phrase it in words that people would identify with more. For instance, what does “diverting the life force” really mean? How would someone know they are doing that?

And then, instead of going to the negative word, “stop…”–tell us what TO DO.

I think you will discover that as you get crystal clear with words (that aren’t metaphorical, such as “life force”) and you get concrete, that you yourself will be even more inspired by what you’re trying to say.

Student #2 wrote:

“Live and enjoy those around you while you have them, since you never know when you may not have them with you any longer.”

Lizabeth’s response:
You want to get more concrete with your sentence. For instance, what does “enjoy those around you” equate to in terms of actions and behavior? And what does “live” mean? You’re telling us to “LIVE and enjoy…” So what does “live” look like? What should we actually DO that means “live”? and say that instead. For instance, “develop deep conversations,” “carve out intimate dinners,” “go on day trips,” etc. You want to “bring pictures to mind, and specific language does that.

Student #3 wrote:

I provide gentle heart-centered Chiropractic care to remove spinal distortions from newborns to 3 years old to ensure maximum function of their bodies.

Lizabeth’s response:
Nice.  I just want you to add in a phrase that explains the dangers of spinal distortions. So, it would go like this:
I provide gentle, heart-centered chiropractic care that removes spinal distortions that ______(do this kind of damage) to newborns up to 3 year-olds, to ensure maximum function of their bodies.

If you don’t include that, the reader won’t feel the danger, and it’s vital that they do.

Student #4 wrote:

My 1-day workshop, How to communicate with your spouse to deepen your relationship and increase your odds of staying together by 90% uses a 3 part communication strategy for taking your relationship to the next level that includes learning 1) effective conversation principles 2) communication tools for creating intimacy and 3) the 5 pt conversation formula for long-lasting marriage.

Lizabeth’s response:

Never use this term: “taking your _____to the next level.” It has no meaning. So, I ask you, “How would a couple know their relationship had gone to the next level”? That, or even some other answers you may come up with to that question, is what you should write here instead.

Student #5 wrote:

As a Personal Empowerment Coach, I teach EFT, a fast, simple technique that not only relieves stress but helps remove emotional blocks that prevent people from taking positive action in the lives

Lizabeth’s response:
NEW: As a Personal Empowerment Coach, I teach 45-55 year-old women, who are are stretched-thin from caring for kids and elderly parents, a fast, simple proven technique called EFT, that relieves the stress and emotional blocks that are unique to their situation.

We need to know the decade-range of your market and then *what problem* they have, so they can self-identify. Then, you want to say that it is “fast and simple,” since it is. And “relieves” is probably more accurate than “removes.”

Student #6 wrote:

I inspire, educate and challenge your sons to create a vision of who they want to be and to take responsibility for engaging the resources at their disposal to achieve the success that is possible for them when they are their authentic selves.

Lizabeth’s response: 
EDIT: I inspire, educate and challenge your sons to become powerful leaders and contributors of every community they’re in by enabling them to first understand and develop their own inner authority.

Rather than talk about the steps you use (creating a vision + taking responsibility for engaging the resources at their disposal) and rather than talk about their authentic selves, which is not common language–you want to speak of who they’ll be at the end, all in very simple language.

Student #7 wrote:

How What I Do is different from what everyone else does in my field: Where other teen coaching programs focus on general stereotypical issues, my personalized, in-depth training program focuses on your son’s core; the very heart of who he is—providing him with a radically new skill set to help him most effectively utilize his energy and put his faculties of mind, emotions and body to use in the service of his highest vision of who he is and wants to become.

Lizabeth’s response:

EDIT: Where other teen coaching programs focus on general stereotypical issues like _______--(and then tell us why this is a bad thing), my personalized, in-depth training program focuses on your son’s core; the very heart of who he is—providing him with a radically new skill set for making strong value-centered decisions that will powerfully shift the direction of his future.

I took out the phrasing around his energy and faculties of mind, emotions and body because they are irrelevant to the listening brain. I went straight for the benefit to both the son AND the parent. Always make sure that your language is THEIR language. NEVER use jargon, or spiritual wording–not in marketing. Save that for the private programs.

Student #8 wrote:

“…they’re still putting their dreams on hold.”

Lizabeth’s response
One can’t see that peering through a window. If you can’t bring a concrete picture to mind, the articulation is vague and useless. What would we see, if were were peering through a window at someone who’d put their dreams on hold?

Student #9 wrote:

WHAT PROCESS I USE TO CREATE RESULTS
I teach Christian leaders how to think strategically, make sound organizational decisions and build relationships that expand their sphere of influence and create wealth to advance the kingdom of God.

Lizabeth’s response:

“Leaders” in this context sounds like clergymen. You’re speaking about business owners. It is vitally important that you “call them out” very clearly. Additionally, they need to be able to picture “where they are in the world,” when you’re answering this process question. So, it could read:

In a ____-week/month, (group/solo) program, I take Christian-faith business executives, in $ ___ million businesses, through a __-part process: 1) how to think strategically about ___, 2) how to make sound organizational decisions that _____and 3) how to build relationships that expand their sphere of influence and create wealth that advances the kingdom of God.

Student #10 wrote:

What is so special about chiropractic is that it effectively restores your body’s in-born natural energy flow—in just a few minutes a week—and with those circuits flowing, the light you were born with can fully shine.

Lizabeth wrote:

“Light” is a metaphor, as is “shine.” Take those words out and you will start to understand what you REALLY do. In marketing, always replace metaphors with something tangible and concrete–in order to lend more credibility to what you’re saying. So, let’s go here:

What is so special about chiropractic is that it effectively restores your body’s in-born natural energy flow—in just a few minutes a week—and with those circuits flowing, you can exercise with endurance again, run up stairs, eat the foods you enjoy. (See? Get specific and concrete and use outcomes desired by the prospect.)

Student #11 wrote:

Why You Must Buy My Services Now: “If you continue to do what you’re doing, then no matter how much financial planning you’ve done, you will still be left anxious and unprepared, having reduced your worth merely to the value of material assets–rather than sharing what’s most important: your personal legacy—that which must live on beyond you and be gifted to those you love and admire.

Lizabeth’s response:

That is a good argument. Just refining it a bit: “If you choose to focus solely on your financial planning at this stage of your life, you will make a gross miscalculation: reducing your worth to the value of material assets, rather than sharing what is most valuable about you: your personal legacy—that which can and *must* live on beyond you!”

It’s worth noting that the better your argument (like a lawyer in court), the better your ability to “close the case.”

————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

So, what did YOU learn?? Name one thing. Just say it to yourself out loud. (Or post it below!)

This September-on the 23rd–you could have this level of precision brought to your business communications. ILLUMINATE is my twice-monthly business group for coaches and consultants that focuses entirely on the #1 money-making and world-changing skill: persuasive communications. Imagine all of the small errors you’re making in what you say and write and all the money you’re losing because of those mistakes! And imagine how much more money, and what greater impact you will have when you say it right! Go read about it and register here! Don’t wait. This group is super-small, for microscopic attention on you.

Freedom to Lead Series-1: Freedom from the Establishment

This 10-day video series honors our upcoming Independence Day here in the
States–July 4; honors the determination our forefathers had to be free by
looking at the freedoms entrepreneurial thought leaders must claim in
order to be successful in business and in changing the world.

In this first video. we look at the most important freedom for an entrepreneur.
Enjoy!

[youtube width=”640″ height=”480″]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dtAf6KfcEqc&feature=youtu.be[/youtube]

A NEW Kind of “TLC” on Valentine’s Day for the Service Entrepreneur

Happy Valentine’s Day! “Tender” isn’t the word used to describe me as a consultant (as in Tender Loving Care). In fact, a recent student of mine referred to me as a passionate pit-bull. So, I don’t have anything tender for you this Valentine’s Day, but I do have a NEW meaning for TLC, that definitely expresses my love for you.

A couple of weeks ago, a client of mine referred to me as a thought leader–which I accepted gratefully and humbly–in the same instant that I clapped a hand to my head and thought, “I build Inspired Leaders…but to be much more specific, they are Inspired Thought Leaders! So, the TLC I’m giving you this Valentine’s Day is: Thought Leader Clarity….namely, the 12 Steps to Thought Leader Clarity! (TLC!)

[Read more…]

A 10-Step Pitch to Prospects to Buy Your Expert Service

A client and I were concluding my 7-session private process, The Powerhouse Method, and now armed with her one-of-a–kind differentiation and message, we had time to role-play the pitch she was going to make to decision makers at NYC media companies. We had developed a strategy where she would go to those whom she knew best first, so the “pitch arc” we created keeps in mind the warmth of her relationship to them.

I am sharing it here with my answers, rather than hers for confidentiality’s sake. The example should help you adapt it to your own situation and content.
[Read more…]

Determining Your Target Market: 6 Ways You’ve Probably Not Considered–Part 6

This is the final installment in this series and is most relevant for those who sell business-to-business.

#6: The size of the company will determine your market.

You will always need to get in front of decision makers, and the size of the company, business or organization whom you approach determines who that is and thus who your market is. It’s well worth your time to think this through.

If you want to target a large company, your market is HR or perhaps a top executive–and most likely, they will not be your final audience.  This awareness, then, tells you–as any target market will–how to craft your marketing communications. They will not be directed to the C-levels, managers or other employees with whom you will be directly interacting–everything will be constructed around “what’s in it for” the decision maker. [Read more…]

Determining Your Target Market: 6 Ways You’ve Probably Not Considered–Part 5

# 5: Your 4 Business Roles

As a service-based business owner, there are 4 roles you will likely play in your career. But only one is where you want to spend most of your time. One is the best option given your mission. One is the best option given ethical behavior toward your clients. And it is very important to build your business so that you are utilizing the best role in your Signature Program—the program that is central to your entire business. Since your Signature Program will be populated by a certain target market, it stands to reason that you need to know which of these roles you’re playing in that program so you can determine who should be “in the room.” [Read more…]

Determining Your Target Market: 6 Ways You’ve Probably Not Considered–Part 2

This is the 2nd in a 6-part series on mastering who your sliver-population market is. I’ve said to my students and clients for years that your market *is* your business. Without a market, you have either an unwieldy, undefined business or you have no business at all.

It is your market that will determine how you sell to them–the communication that will actually work.

Your market that will determine the free and paid programs you offer.

Your market who will create your expert-status.

Your market who will make you money.

And your market who will determine your destiny. If you are here to change the world, it is only a very segmented population that will help you do it.

There are many things I ask my private clients that enable them to take the vital step of shaping their all-important market, and recently, I’ve been directing them with these 6 tools. Today, I’m giving you the 2nd one.

 

2.    The 4 Criteria

I have found these 4 questions quickly answer whether or not a market is a smart decision. You need to have a sense of a market in order for this to help, but once you have an idea of one or even two markets, measure your options (independently) against these 4 criteria:

On a 1-10 scale (0=not at all; 10=extremely), how would you rate your TM option on the following:
 
1. How “on the surface” is their awareness of their pain?

2. How credible are you to them? (They would believe you; respect you; resonate with you.)

3. How passionate do you feel when you think of working with them?

4. How able are they to pay for you?

Every single one of these is important.

And you want to be answering at an 8 (lowest), and preferably a 9 or 10.

If a market is a 9 or 10 in awareness of their pain, this is very good. It means they have an urgent need, and your business *must* be “urgently wanted”–or you will simply sit on the shelf as a one-day possibility (if you’re lucky.) Sound familiar?

You are credible to a market if you have been through what they are going through; if you have overcome what they’re in the midst of; if you express beliefs that immediately align with theirs. If you are an 8-10 in credibility, there is a high likelihood that they will buy you.

You must be at a 9 or 10 in passion for your  market. If you are a follower of mine, you are here to effect change in the world and must want that change for a particular segment far more than for any other segment. You must be passionate about what you see is possible for them; what you think they’re here for–after all, you’ll be helping them get it. I am off-the-charts passionate about visionary entrepreneurs, those who are here to inspire change. I could do what I do for corporations, but I believe the world should be run by entrepreneurs, so I have no interest in helping executives. I used to work with any type of coach and consultant, but then decided that I only had interest in working with those who want to have a powerful impact in the world. I believe they have a purpose on the planet at this time and am extremely passionate about that and them. So, they are now the only type of service provider I work with.

And finally, needless to say, you want your market to be able to pay you at an 8, 9 or 10 level. If you answer anything lower than an 8, you will pay for it.

So, what are your answers when you take yourself through all 4 criteria?

How to Determine Your Target Market: 6 Ways You’ve Probably Not Considered

It is a constant trouble-spot for my market of authors, speakers, consultants, coaches: Determining their market. I have a free ebook to help the process, but there are so many fine hairs to split, that it’s not really enough.

The Target Market question is the biggest boulder in the way of success for an entrepreneur; the hidden answer to their struggle; and the place that gets nearly every one of them—to use a term favored by a dear friend—“wonky.”

Tussling with who it is they will serve reveals commitment issues (I have to work only with them? For years??). Trust issues. (What if this market is a mistake and everything I build for them doesn’t work?) Ego and pride. (The big successes don’t target their market; I’m going to follow them.) When these issues become so obvious that they need to be pointed out lest we spend precious time extracting bullets from their feet, I provide these incisive insight–then end the nurturing with, “Get over all of it. Just pick.”

The other day, I was working with a client on his market and heard myself moving him through six ways to grab hold of a possible market for him. I am going to share them all with you in this diagram today and comment on the first, and then write content for the other five over the next week.

So, you can, and must, evaluate your market on at least the following conditions:

 

  1. What Market “Urgently Wants” What You Have?

Even this is not a cut-and-dried question, and is hair that can be split dozens of ways, but it must be answered! The biggest problem I see for service-based entrepreneurs is that they do not ensure that they are delivering something to the market that the market would “climb over chairs to get.” They’re putting out what they want to put out.

But even if they work on this some, they’re still not reasoning it through enough. They really believe “everyone” could be served by what they offer. But this is not true. Some age-group (the fastest way to get at this if it’s a consumer market) or some company desperately wants what they have more than another. So, what is that age group? And then, what is the situation they’re in that heightens their urgent want? Did they just get divorced? Just graduate college? Did the corporation just merge? Who is in urgent pain and therefore urgently wants what you have?

You *must strike* where there is pain, or you will gather dust very quickly. And there are times in life when the pain out there that you can heal is more acute than at other times. Yes, you provide outstanding marketing services–but at what stage does a business recognize that it REALLY WANTS marketing help? Probably after about two years of failure.  Yes, you’re a great parent coach, but what situations would cause a parent to come seeking your services? There are only a few times when pain is acute: during pregnancy; toddler years; teen-age years.

Look for stages of life and situations that will cause an upsurge of interest in your solution. You are not wanted all of the time. AND you are not wanted by everyone. You are wanted at a specific moment in time, by a very specific type of person/company.

So, what are the crackling synapses in your brain telling you right now?

Stay tuned for the next installment…

What Every Entrepreneur MUST Have In Common With a Prosecuting Attorney

Ready for this? Your business sales are directly proportionate to your ability to stand before the judge and win your case.

Yes, you’re here to effect change in the world. To do good. Be an inspired leader. But in addition, you must be as sharp as a prosecuting attorney if you’re going to make money helping the world with your business–any money.

Sans all sleazy and unethical tactics. In fact, the opposite of slimy verbal gymnastics will win your case: irrefutable truth is the secret. But I’m jumping ahead of myself–and don’t assume you know what I’m about to say. Read on. I promise this will twist your circuits and get you thinking…

So, what does the prosecution in a case do? He puts forth an argument and then sets about proving it beyond a reasonable doubt. If he wins, it’s because the jurors or judge couldn’t come back with a, “Yeah, but –”. The proof was irrefutably true…or, at least, presented no holes.

I want you to realize why you may not be making enough money. Because you’re not presenting a solid case.

I’m willing to bet my life that 1. you don’t have a carefully considered and clearly articulated argument for your market on what they must do (hence your confusion, round-and-round thinking, lack of spark in your business); and 2. I’m willing to lay down my life that you haven’t considered or articulated iron-clad proof of your argument.

Am I warm?

If you fail to present your case, you lose. If your market doesn’t buy (believe) what you’re saying, they won’t buy it. You must present a truth they can’t deny.

So, let’s look at point 1: What is your contention for what your market must do? Spin on their toes for 5 minutes every day? Drink spring water from the Himalyas? Clear their mental blocks to success?

(You need an argument/contention for your entire business AND for every program and product you put out there. Your brand should have one salient contention; the single “to-do” that you are fired up with conviction about. And your smaller program/product contentions should step in line with that.)

Now, the more hackneyed your service (insurance; fitness; weight loss; life coaching; accounting; financial planning; yoga; etc.) the more immune we are to your argument because we’ve heard it already and have already made a decision about whether or not it’s true that we should do that—and, often, the more skeptical we are that your position has any merit. So, you have to work all the harder to articulate a provocative contention that catches attention.

For point #2: presenting the case–stating proof to expunge reasonable doubt. I’m a task-master with this and my clients have to go to the drawing board several times until they have satisfied this criteria. Not one of them has an easy go of it because it’s challenging to remove the holes a prospective client could poke in their argument. They get frustrated in that challenge, but I tell you, it turns their business from questionable to viable—and THAT is the difference between having to quit and Easy Street.

Heads up: The more esoteric, abstract and fringe your service (energy healing; dream analysis; past-life regression; medical intuitive healing; group sex therapy; Akashic Record clearing; even raw-food dieting) the harder it’s going to be to make a sale–because the harder it is to build a case that overcomes resistance or that has hard-core evidence that takes them beyond a reasonable doubt. So your job is to dig really hard and really deep to find the kind of evidence that will make your case.

Whatever your business, whatever stage your business is in–it is essential that you give this top priority.

This is selling we’re talking about. So, step one is to ask yourself, “What does my market have to do?” Don’t take yourself out of this by insisting that you don’t believe in telling your clients what to do!! That’s a really, really weak argument! You will only be successful in business to the degree that you have ironclad conviction about the very, very best solution for your folks. Without it, you will never stand apart, you will never sell well, you will not have a sustainable business—and you will lose your way in restlessness, uncertainty, self-doubt and confusion. Know what they must do and be a stand for it!

After you have your contention—put the word “because” after it…and start explaining why it’s true, in bullet-points.

Then look at each and ask yourself, “Could someone poke a hole in this?” If so, go at it until you have at least three or four solid proof-statements your market would buy. Then get out there and share it so they buy!

Coming in June! A free training call on how to build a successful one-of-a-kind business empire. THIS is one of the keys!

What Is Your High-Value-Driver in Business?

I was at a retreat about 14 years ago, where we were asked to make a list of our top 20 values. What mattered most to us and what ideals we shaped our lives around. I don’t have that list anymore, but I remember the exercise vividly. You may actually want to do the exercise as you read along, making sure not to read faster than you write. So, top 20 values.

Then, the facilitator asked us to remove 5. This was manageable and I remember the ah-ha I received from forcing the cream to the top. This was the solid 15 ideals I lived by.

Then, he asked us to remove 5 more. Ugh. But again, do-able. Can you see the next move? Yup, another 5. That one was impossible. Are you kidding me? I’m supposed to narrow all that matters most to me down to 5 words??? We all groaned and whined, certain that we were compromising or sacrificing as we chopped away. Then, the gauntlet fell, the moment of reckoning was offered to us: Take everything away but one.

It’s that single answer—that single word—that I remember so crisply 14 years later. And it revealed, without question, my true north star. It was THE value that had driven me since I was at least ten, when I’d asked a veterinarian my father knew if I could “shadow” him for the day and then came home and drafted a written test for myself and assessed my learning.

It is the single word that has driven my success in business and my success as an expert (two different things); what has driven my choice in mates and friends…and the leaving of mates and friends. It’s what has driven my parenting style; my spiritual journey. And that same value, that same word, is—though I’ve never done an official survey—the top value of my students and clients. My high-value driver is the same as those who pay me…as it can only be; we attract who we are. And as it really, should be. We should live with, clink glasses with, raise, and work with only those who value what we value.

What was my word? “Growing.”

I can’t do anything and not grow. I am highly self-reflective; intensely curious about things that capture my attention; I would far rather improve myself than be “right”. And I want the world to grow. I want extreme growth for my students, so they go out and bring growth to the world.

Whittling away what didn’t matter most for me was excruciating in the moment of that exercise, but what it revealed was precious and priceless: my high-value driver—why I do what I do. When things get choppy at home with friends or family, it is my value in “growth” that enables me to calm the waters. I seek to improve things, rather than let them be. And when things get funky in business, it is my high-value driver that pulls me through. I am here to grow myself, grow others and grow the world. Any outcome less than that will do me harm, truly, and so I’ll do whatever it takes, overcome all hard-spots to fulfill it.

So, what is your high-value driver in your business? What is the single word that conveys what you must do, and why you do it?


� 2011-14 Inspired Leaders Academy. All Rights Reserved.