10 Years of Business Lessons–Chapter 1: When It’s Time to Change Direction

Over the next 3 weeks, I will be commemorating my 10 years as an influential communication strategist in my second business–in the hopes that doing so will help you make more strategic decisions, avoid ditches and dead ends, move along much faster--and, overall, keep you inspired as you, too, traverse the winding and unpredictable road of self-employment.

It all began on February 27, 2007, when I launched Inspired Leadership Training with a 2-hour, free live event.

Well, no, I should back up.

It really began about 18 months earlier, when I attended The Millionaire Mind Intensive, then run by marketing and live event genius, T. Harv Eker. Over those 3 days, I fell in love with how I felt as an audience member, with how powerfully and effectively they engaged me and I wanted to learn how they did it!

That weekend, I enrolled in Eker’s Train the Trainer program—and once there, lost my heart to how they worked with audiences, through something called “accelerated learning.” A teacher deep down, I soaked up the many, many techniques educational science had developed on enthralling an audience and ensuring deep learning, then I registered for their higher-level certification course on the subject.

After five years of it, I was feeling uninspired working 1-1 as an empowerment coach, and tired of inconsistent sales, too, and so, it was right there at the certification course that I decided to change the trajectory of my career completely. Never mind that a non-fiction book I’d written was being considered by a trade publisher—I wanted nothing more now than to teach these techniques. I was done coaching. I wanted to educate and invoke the spirit of my minister father, a passionate and powerful orator.

As I considered my target market—something I’d failed to do with my coaching business—I considered the fact that the success I’d had as a coach had been due almost entirely to my public speaking. I knew that speaking was the most successful marketing strategy for any entrepreneur, and I decided that I wanted to help my fellow pack-leavers succeed at it.

I also knew that the accelerated learning techniques I was learning would set them apart from every other speaker out there. Not only were they effective, they were inspiring and empowering, something most presentations lack completely!

I quickly conceived the name of my new business: Inspired Leadership Training. Ten years later, it has only shifted slightly to Inspired Leaders’ Academy. I teach my clients now to choose a name that will last for years; mine has always stayed on-target, true to its purpose, and the tag line is as true today as ever: Revolutionizing the Way We Succeed.

So, I completed the certification course but I had a problem: I didn’t know why these accelerated learning techniques worked. Yes, K-12 educators had been implementing them successfully since the early 1970’s, but why? I went in search of answers and soon discovered “brain-based learning” and spent well over a year studying everything I could get my hands on about learning, memory and emotion in the brain.

By late 2006, I had developed my own curriculum for a live public speaking training centered around how the brain learns. The techniques were very similar to accelerated learning’s, but I was pleased to be able to call on hard neuroscience to explain why, for instance, an audience leader should ask constant questions, even rhetorical ones; have audiences verbalize rather than just listen—and why information must be delivered in a very particular sequence.

I named my proprietary formula—i.e. signature program--Secrets of Impact and Influence, and, modeling the way T. Harv Eker sold his trainings, I designed a free ‘teaser’ 2-hour live event to sell the for-sale, signature program.

Back then, this was a rare strategy, believe it or not! I had no idea when I began that within three years, free teleclasses would be all the rage on the internet, and a few years beyond that, free webinars. In February, 2007, this was a novel and successful strategy that I used for the next two years.

In the next installment, I’ll reveal how I marketed the 2-hour event and how the content was designed. Remember, it had to sell my (at the time) 1-day public speaking event. I had learned a lot from T. Harv Eker about selling from stage, and I brought those lessons to bear as I conceptualized my teaser event—the portal to my brand new business.

LESSONS: 

  1. Follow your intuition. If you fall in love with a new direction, follow it!
  2. Be smart: Choose a target audience and make sure there is a strong market for what you want to sell.
  3. Be creative: Make sure what you’re offering is unique in the marketplace! That it has a unique and proprietary ‘formula.’
  4. Be strategic: Conceive of a strategy for selling your proprietary formula (i.e. signature program)
  5. Choose a business name that suggests a theme or purpose and that you could be happy with for years. My work, though it has morphed over 10 years, is all about inspirational leadership. Another lesson: Don’t let an expert talk you out of your intuitive sense of your business name: I was told entrepreneurs don’t want to be leaders. Within 5years, everyone selling to entrepreneurs was encouraging them to be leaders. You may just be ahead of your time; trust your gut!

Part 4 Business is Different for You: Rattle the Cages!

So, in just three days of this series on how business is different for you, you have:

1.) Recognized that you’re hiding out in mediocrity and that it’s beneath you to continue doing so;

2.) Taken yourself onto the dry, cracked soil of your business and life and, fist raised to the skies, generated your own Scarlett O’Hara moment, declaring, “As God is my witness, I will never ___________ again!” You have decided to do things differently.

And 3.) Recognized that the reason to be different is so you can be seen and heard in this marketing-crazed world—but that you have been taking business advice not meant for you. You need to stand out in a way that is worthy of you and that works.

So, what works in this day and age?

Well, anything that appeals, attracts and stands out.

And what does that? Whatever lingers. Almost nothing lingers anymore.

So, what lingers?

Ideas and statements that interrupt long-held patterns and world-views. 

When something crashes through the ceiling of what we know, shattering what we believe with new insight, new information, it captures our brain’s attention.

The BRAIN attends immediately to 3 things—what is: relevant, novel and emotional.

BrainAttends

So, interrupting a pattern inserts something very new into your prospect’s environment. You’ve had the experience of a new and contrarian point of view coming out of left field. The brain cannot look away because the idea is novel.

And interrupting a pattern also evokes emotion. Often it upsets you. But sometimes it evokes awe, or excitement, or fear–but whatever it is, because it tapped an emotions, it burrows under your skin and you can’t get rid of it. Think of one right now. Maybe it was a new religious perspective you discovered when you were sixteen. Maybe it was a new scientific viewpoint you heard just last week that has uprooted everything you’ve believed to that point.

These new ideas that infiltrated your bubble of awareness interrupted a long-held pattern and world-view of yours and hit you emotionally–and so you remembered it. It lasted. Because the brain is wired to attend to what is emotional.

That’s lingering. And it’s rare.

New, provocative information that “breaks the schema”—the current understanding of your prospects–grabs their attention. It appeals, attracts and stands out–and literally lays down new pathways in their brains that were not there before your message.

I am going to say that again: Because you are activating the brain’s attention with relevancy, novelty and emotion—you are creating a hairline neuronal pathway in their brain.

That. Was. Not. There. Before. Your. Message.

How cool is THAT??

THAT is the power you can yield—in your marketing. In your branding.

And it is not some lofty goal. It is a requirement.

This is what I meant, at the end of yesterday’s post, when I said that leadership would differentiate you—not all of the typical and superficial branding solutions out there.

A leader has this kind of message; this kind of impact.

But you won’t be just any leader.

You need to be a thought leader, defined as:

Someone who wakes people out of denial, who breaks the ceiling of conditioned thinking, shakes people out of blind acceptance and ultimately, shatters paradigms.

It is the thought leader who interrupts long-held patterns; breaks “schemas.”

Thought leaders see what everyone else can’t—the myths and Kool-Aid peddlers—and as a visionary, they see new landscapes.

But just doing that is not enough. You cannot rattle cages and hope to influence. You must be able to inspire those within those cages to dare to fly.

That’s where the inspired leader comes in: Someone who, in words and deeds, causes others to aspire to something inspiregreater in themselves, and greater than themselves, than they ever imagined possible, igniting a change.

If your work is to empower people, I’ve said, you are a different breed of entrepreneur—and you are a natural inspired leader. Know that. Own that. But that’s not really enough, either.

To have a powerful impact on your prospects in your book, TED talk, 1-1 presentations, YouTube videos, blog posts (i.e. your marketing), you must be a blend of both a thought leader and an inspired leader.

Someone on public platforms who disrupts the status quo with a serious wake up call and a vision of a new vista—and then inspires folks to dare to travel there.

I ask my live audiences, are you an inspired thought leader?

Everyone raises their hands.

Then, I ask: Are you an inspired thought leader in your marketing?

The hands plummet.

And I tell them that they’re not alone; that almost no one is delivering this kind of message, this kind of leadership. That’s because most everyone crowds together in the middle-of-the-curve.

But not you.

Not you.

You can and must do it differently. To honor yourself, and the Impulse that brought you to this work of empowering humanity, it is required that you leave the pack and dare to shatter paradigms.

That’s what changes lives.

And that is an invaluable result in today’s world—and I dare say, what you were born for.

So, are you an Inspired Thought Leader?

In your marketing?

I’ve got you covered.

Click here to read the end of this series, where I explain the 5 pillars of an ITL message and what makes it so incredibly different from anything else out there–and from what you are doing now.  A change, it is a comin’!!

Disruption-without-interuption

Part 3 Business is Different For You: Don’t Do This!

burnboat

So, did you do it?  Did you go into the fields last night and have your Scarlett O’Hara moment? Did you feel that full-bodied determination to get out from the middle-of-the-curve, where everyone is okay with average?

Did you feel the hope and belief in something so much bigger for your life and your business than that?

Did you then cut-off all other options? Burn your boats? (Read part 2 here.)

I told you yesterday that if I’d had time, I would have stimulated a reckoning like this with my lackluster audience (read part 1 post here), who revealed that, deep down, good enough might just be good enough for them. Even though they’d been called to so much greater. Even though they were born to lead.

If you’d been in that room while I facilitated such a reckoning—but decided to sit it out, I’d have lost it again: you have the chance to leave average and ordinary and you’re staying in it?

So, for all of our sake’s, I’m going to assume that you went into the arid fields of your business last night and declared, “As God is my witness, I will never ___________ again!!”

And now that you are all dressed up, let’s give you some place NEW to go. Your decision to leave the crowd behind must be rewarded—and sustained—by much, much better solutions.

NonConformityWomenFashionLet’s remember what we’re achieving here by leaving the pack: the ability to be seen, to have your message heard over the roar of thousands of competing voices. The capacity to honor the Impulse that brought you to this work in the first place, which isn’t possible when you’re looking and sounding like everyone else and offering superficial, cookie-cutter business brands, packages, workshops and presentations.

So, now that you have made the courageous decision to walk away from the middle that most everyone else calls home–how do you do it? How do you stand out?

Well, not the way you’ve been taught to. Business is different for you, so you have to do business differently—which means, giving up strategies meant for everyone else.

How many of these techniques for differentiating yourself in business have you heard?

  • Stand out with your personality. Wear some signature clothing item, or accentuate your heritage, or embellish your attitude—maybe your in-your-face irreverence or quick-witted humor.
  • Stand out with your past career or adventures. You’ve been a mountain climber, so be known for helping others scale the highest peaks in their own life. Or you once were a musician, so you should help others sing their life’s song.
  • Stand out by merging credentials with a contrasting industry. You are known for having a PhD in theology but consult to corporate clients. Or you’re known for uniquely bringing your experience as a high school principal into coaching political leaders.
  • Stand out with a narrow target market. You are known for working with mothers of newborns, or with teenagers, or young couples or retirees. Now, don’t get me wrong—every business needs a narrow market!!! But in this typical strategy, you’re known for it.
  • Stand out with your unique work style. You lead education cruises or do wilderness, beach or equine coaching.
  • Stand out with your specialty. I’m a divorce coach, an ADHD therapist, a career consultant, and EFT practitioner, and on and on.

These are familiar to you, right? Straight out of the differentiation handbook.

And sometimes they workfor much the same reason that our eyes are drawn to bright, shiny objects: they have flash-appeal. But they do not last.

Furthermore, there’s a MUCH bigger problem with all of these. Can you guess what it is?

All of them are much too superficial for what you are here to do. Again—you are a different BREED of entrepreneur; a “transformation artist.” None of these brings out the voice of the Impulse.

That voice is a leader’s voice. And it’s YOUR voice.

And it’s that voice that will differentiate you in a way all of these other strategies NEVER, EVER will.

You have something the world needs–and it won’t get it unless you lead.

Business is different for you, so you have to do business differently.

Go ahead, repeat after me:  “Things are different for me.”

Yes, they are. Now this: “Leadership is going to differentiate me!”

Click here to continue this 5-day story-series and find out just what kind of leadership will set you far apart…

Real Examples of Bad Business Communication–Corrected!

Years ago, I led a 5-week training class called, 12 Sentences. Coaches and consultants came to me to develop their business identity (and messaging) by having to answer 12 questions, in 12 concise, single-sentences. These were the questions that prospects always have in the backs of their minds. It was challenging for them, to say the least!

I am a professorial group leader (and private consultant), which means that I stay up into the wee hours to “correct papers”–and in the case of my 12 Sentences students, correct their sentences.

In this post, I am sharing a rare–and I mean never, ever, ever before seen–glimpse into how I shape clients’ and students’ language to be more effective. These are actual sentences students sent me, and my replies to them. Be ready to be fire-hosed with tips you’ve probably never heard before! Got a pen? You’ll want to take notes. (And you’ll also want to join my twice-monthly group, ILLUMINATE, focused *solely* on persuasive communications. I’ll do with you there, what you’ll see below.)

Student #1 wrote:

Whatever you do, you HAVE to find a way to stop twisting, denying, controlling and diverting the life force within you.

Lizabeth’s response:
I’d like to see you phrase it in words that people would identify with more. For instance, what does “diverting the life force” really mean? How would someone know they are doing that?

And then, instead of going to the negative word, “stop…”–tell us what TO DO.

I think you will discover that as you get crystal clear with words (that aren’t metaphorical, such as “life force”) and you get concrete, that you yourself will be even more inspired by what you’re trying to say.

Student #2 wrote:

“Live and enjoy those around you while you have them, since you never know when you may not have them with you any longer.”

Lizabeth’s response:
You want to get more concrete with your sentence. For instance, what does “enjoy those around you” equate to in terms of actions and behavior? And what does “live” mean? You’re telling us to “LIVE and enjoy…” So what does “live” look like? What should we actually DO that means “live”? and say that instead. For instance, “develop deep conversations,” “carve out intimate dinners,” “go on day trips,” etc. You want to “bring pictures to mind, and specific language does that.

Student #3 wrote:

I provide gentle heart-centered Chiropractic care to remove spinal distortions from newborns to 3 years old to ensure maximum function of their bodies.

Lizabeth’s response:
Nice.  I just want you to add in a phrase that explains the dangers of spinal distortions. So, it would go like this:
I provide gentle, heart-centered chiropractic care that removes spinal distortions that ______(do this kind of damage) to newborns up to 3 year-olds, to ensure maximum function of their bodies.

If you don’t include that, the reader won’t feel the danger, and it’s vital that they do.

Student #4 wrote:

My 1-day workshop, How to communicate with your spouse to deepen your relationship and increase your odds of staying together by 90% uses a 3 part communication strategy for taking your relationship to the next level that includes learning 1) effective conversation principles 2) communication tools for creating intimacy and 3) the 5 pt conversation formula for long-lasting marriage.

Lizabeth’s response:

Never use this term: “taking your _____to the next level.” It has no meaning. So, I ask you, “How would a couple know their relationship had gone to the next level”? That, or even some other answers you may come up with to that question, is what you should write here instead.

Student #5 wrote:

As a Personal Empowerment Coach, I teach EFT, a fast, simple technique that not only relieves stress but helps remove emotional blocks that prevent people from taking positive action in the lives

Lizabeth’s response:
NEW: As a Personal Empowerment Coach, I teach 45-55 year-old women, who are are stretched-thin from caring for kids and elderly parents, a fast, simple proven technique called EFT, that relieves the stress and emotional blocks that are unique to their situation.

We need to know the decade-range of your market and then *what problem* they have, so they can self-identify. Then, you want to say that it is “fast and simple,” since it is. And “relieves” is probably more accurate than “removes.”

Student #6 wrote:

I inspire, educate and challenge your sons to create a vision of who they want to be and to take responsibility for engaging the resources at their disposal to achieve the success that is possible for them when they are their authentic selves.

Lizabeth’s response: 
EDIT: I inspire, educate and challenge your sons to become powerful leaders and contributors of every community they’re in by enabling them to first understand and develop their own inner authority.

Rather than talk about the steps you use (creating a vision + taking responsibility for engaging the resources at their disposal) and rather than talk about their authentic selves, which is not common language–you want to speak of who they’ll be at the end, all in very simple language.

Student #7 wrote:

How What I Do is different from what everyone else does in my field: Where other teen coaching programs focus on general stereotypical issues, my personalized, in-depth training program focuses on your son’s core; the very heart of who he is—providing him with a radically new skill set to help him most effectively utilize his energy and put his faculties of mind, emotions and body to use in the service of his highest vision of who he is and wants to become.

Lizabeth’s response:

EDIT: Where other teen coaching programs focus on general stereotypical issues like _______--(and then tell us why this is a bad thing), my personalized, in-depth training program focuses on your son’s core; the very heart of who he is—providing him with a radically new skill set for making strong value-centered decisions that will powerfully shift the direction of his future.

I took out the phrasing around his energy and faculties of mind, emotions and body because they are irrelevant to the listening brain. I went straight for the benefit to both the son AND the parent. Always make sure that your language is THEIR language. NEVER use jargon, or spiritual wording–not in marketing. Save that for the private programs.

Student #8 wrote:

“…they’re still putting their dreams on hold.”

Lizabeth’s response
One can’t see that peering through a window. If you can’t bring a concrete picture to mind, the articulation is vague and useless. What would we see, if were were peering through a window at someone who’d put their dreams on hold?

Student #9 wrote:

WHAT PROCESS I USE TO CREATE RESULTS
I teach Christian leaders how to think strategically, make sound organizational decisions and build relationships that expand their sphere of influence and create wealth to advance the kingdom of God.

Lizabeth’s response:

“Leaders” in this context sounds like clergymen. You’re speaking about business owners. It is vitally important that you “call them out” very clearly. Additionally, they need to be able to picture “where they are in the world,” when you’re answering this process question. So, it could read:

In a ____-week/month, (group/solo) program, I take Christian-faith business executives, in $ ___ million businesses, through a __-part process: 1) how to think strategically about ___, 2) how to make sound organizational decisions that _____and 3) how to build relationships that expand their sphere of influence and create wealth that advances the kingdom of God.

Student #10 wrote:

What is so special about chiropractic is that it effectively restores your body’s in-born natural energy flow—in just a few minutes a week—and with those circuits flowing, the light you were born with can fully shine.

Lizabeth wrote:

“Light” is a metaphor, as is “shine.” Take those words out and you will start to understand what you REALLY do. In marketing, always replace metaphors with something tangible and concrete–in order to lend more credibility to what you’re saying. So, let’s go here:

What is so special about chiropractic is that it effectively restores your body’s in-born natural energy flow—in just a few minutes a week—and with those circuits flowing, you can exercise with endurance again, run up stairs, eat the foods you enjoy. (See? Get specific and concrete and use outcomes desired by the prospect.)

Student #11 wrote:

Why You Must Buy My Services Now: “If you continue to do what you’re doing, then no matter how much financial planning you’ve done, you will still be left anxious and unprepared, having reduced your worth merely to the value of material assets–rather than sharing what’s most important: your personal legacy—that which must live on beyond you and be gifted to those you love and admire.

Lizabeth’s response:

That is a good argument. Just refining it a bit: “If you choose to focus solely on your financial planning at this stage of your life, you will make a gross miscalculation: reducing your worth to the value of material assets, rather than sharing what is most valuable about you: your personal legacy—that which can and *must* live on beyond you!”

It’s worth noting that the better your argument (like a lawyer in court), the better your ability to “close the case.”

————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

So, what did YOU learn?? Name one thing. Just say it to yourself out loud. (Or post it below!)

This September-on the 23rd–you could have this level of precision brought to your business communications. ILLUMINATE is my twice-monthly business group for coaches and consultants that focuses entirely on the #1 money-making and world-changing skill: persuasive communications. Imagine all of the small errors you’re making in what you say and write and all the money you’re losing because of those mistakes! And imagine how much more money, and what greater impact you will have when you say it right! Go read about it and register here! Don’t wait. This group is super-small, for microscopic attention on you.

Freedom to Lead Series 7: Freedom from Visibility Paralysis

This 10-day video series honors our Independence Day here in the States–July 4; honors the determination our forefathers had to be free by looking at the freedoms entrepreneurial thought leaders must claim in order to be successful in business and in changing the world.

This seventh video gets you out of marketing stagnation by giving you an easy, smart, streamlined process to follow so you get out there and get seen!

[youtube width=”640″ height=”480″]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=osjoS5Wn4YI&feature=youtu.be[/youtube]

Freedom to Lead Series 6: Freedom from Failure

This 10-day video series honors our Independence Day here in the States–July 4; honors the determination our forefathers had to be free by looking at the freedoms entrepreneurial thought leaders must claim in order to be successful in business and in changing the world.

In this sixth video, we look at failure and the formula truly successful entrepreneurs use to ward off its crushing defeat. What do you do most often? Crash or correct? 

 [youtube width=”640″ height=”480″]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PrYdIcqNeSw[/youtube]

Freedom to Lead Series 5: Freedom from “No Thanks.”

This 10-day video series honors our Independence Day here in the States–July 4; honors the determination our forefathers had to be free by looking at the freedoms entrepreneurial thought leaders must claim in order to be successful in business and in changing the world.

In this fifth video, we look at the dreaded excuse we get from prospect, “No, thanks.” What can you do to be free of this??? Watch and find out!

[youtube width=”640″ height=”480″]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=haB9V7BOybs&feature=youtu.be[/youtube]

Freedom to Lead Series-1: Freedom from the Establishment

This 10-day video series honors our upcoming Independence Day here in the
States–July 4; honors the determination our forefathers had to be free by
looking at the freedoms entrepreneurial thought leaders must claim in
order to be successful in business and in changing the world.

In this first video. we look at the most important freedom for an entrepreneur.
Enjoy!

[youtube width=”640″ height=”480″]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dtAf6KfcEqc&feature=youtu.be[/youtube]

How to Determine Your Target Market: 6 Ways You’ve Probably Not Considered

It is a constant trouble-spot for my market of authors, speakers, consultants, coaches: Determining their market. I have a free ebook to help the process, but there are so many fine hairs to split, that it’s not really enough.

The Target Market question is the biggest boulder in the way of success for an entrepreneur; the hidden answer to their struggle; and the place that gets nearly every one of them—to use a term favored by a dear friend—“wonky.”

Tussling with who it is they will serve reveals commitment issues (I have to work only with them? For years??). Trust issues. (What if this market is a mistake and everything I build for them doesn’t work?) Ego and pride. (The big successes don’t target their market; I’m going to follow them.) When these issues become so obvious that they need to be pointed out lest we spend precious time extracting bullets from their feet, I provide these incisive insight–then end the nurturing with, “Get over all of it. Just pick.”

The other day, I was working with a client on his market and heard myself moving him through six ways to grab hold of a possible market for him. I am going to share them all with you in this diagram today and comment on the first, and then write content for the other five over the next week.

So, you can, and must, evaluate your market on at least the following conditions:

 

  1. What Market “Urgently Wants” What You Have?

Even this is not a cut-and-dried question, and is hair that can be split dozens of ways, but it must be answered! The biggest problem I see for service-based entrepreneurs is that they do not ensure that they are delivering something to the market that the market would “climb over chairs to get.” They’re putting out what they want to put out.

But even if they work on this some, they’re still not reasoning it through enough. They really believe “everyone” could be served by what they offer. But this is not true. Some age-group (the fastest way to get at this if it’s a consumer market) or some company desperately wants what they have more than another. So, what is that age group? And then, what is the situation they’re in that heightens their urgent want? Did they just get divorced? Just graduate college? Did the corporation just merge? Who is in urgent pain and therefore urgently wants what you have?

You *must strike* where there is pain, or you will gather dust very quickly. And there are times in life when the pain out there that you can heal is more acute than at other times. Yes, you provide outstanding marketing services–but at what stage does a business recognize that it REALLY WANTS marketing help? Probably after about two years of failure.  Yes, you’re a great parent coach, but what situations would cause a parent to come seeking your services? There are only a few times when pain is acute: during pregnancy; toddler years; teen-age years.

Look for stages of life and situations that will cause an upsurge of interest in your solution. You are not wanted all of the time. AND you are not wanted by everyone. You are wanted at a specific moment in time, by a very specific type of person/company.

So, what are the crackling synapses in your brain telling you right now?

Stay tuned for the next installment…

10 Reluctant Lessons Learned on Mothers’ Day

Well, of course, lesson number one is to have a relaxing day, rather than one that sends you into apoplectic shock, but not everyone can learn that one easily.

Now that my own mom is gone, Mother’s Day is spent doing something deliberate with my daughter (as opposed to reading in a hammock in solitary bliss), such as going to see Hair on Broadway, bicycling at the shore, watching our favorite mother-daughter movie, Tumbleweeds. This year, I had the brilliant idea that we should experience a ropes course at the Turtleback Zoo nearby. I think because my (rather ancient) memory of this zoo was that it was little more than a petting zoo for children, I assumed its sister adventure course would offer the same level of challenge.

LOL.

Now, for those of you who have charged your way through high ropes courses, I suspect you would consider this child’s play—and my own confident enthusiasm was evident as they strapped me into the harness, telling us that refunds past that point weren’t allowed, with my smile to my girl that said, “I guess some young children get scared…” Up I went the first ladder and stood happily on the first platform.

And then glanced down at my first action-step: to close the giant gap between me and an innocent-looking board. I couldn’t move. I was done before I’d even begun. Thankfully, they knew enough to post a guide right on the platform with you for this first lethal act and he was quite confident that I could make it. I looked across the chasm to my daughter, who had, indeed, succeeded to the other side and she called back, “The first step is the hardest! But then it gets easier.”

I don’t know how long I stood there, contemplating the inches across and the ability of my body to take a giant leap that was clearly not meant for human beings. I was told then, as I was told a thousand more times, to pull down hard on my lifeline and it would support me as I jumped. Absolutely nothing in my consciousness grasped that fact—then, or ever–but finally, somehow, I took that first life-defying step—and I was off!

I told my daughter on the next platform, “I’m getting off as soon as I can!” She nodded in soothing understanding. “We don’t have to go on to the second course; but we do have to make it through this one.”

I figured a panic attack was an effective exit strategy for getting out sooner, but my pride did get the better of me, so I gingerly turned to face the second challenge—and encountered my next searing lesson, then my next and my next. Indeed, the only thing that kept me from losing my mind entirely suspended in mid-air was this blog post; knowing that this ignorantly arranged Mothers’ Day adventure was a perfect metaphor for entrepreneurial leadership that I would share. So, you could say that thoughts of you saved me as I gripped my lifeline, fingers nearly bleeding, over the next ninety minutes. Let me share with you what I learned about fear and the requirement to get through it in order to arrive at a passionately desired destination ahead.

  1. Don’t think. Thinking did me absolutely no good. The only way I ever successfully made it across was when I “just did it”—just plowed through the fear (it genuinely felt like plowing through). When I stood still, examining the length of the board and the distance from it to the next one, and the possibility of stepping onto the wire instead…the board shook like crazy. My true life-lines were the guides, and they’d call up to me to tell me this. “Keep moving. When you stand still, it gets really shaky.” Of course, what did they know? But eventually, I listened, and when I just stopped thinking and kept moving, it was swift; it was easy; and for some reason, it just wasn’t scary. I suspect because it’s hard to move and think at the same time.

  2. You’re it. At one point, I was seriously the most afraid I’ve ever been, and by that point, I’d taken to talking to myself. One of my dear guides was busy talking another mother off the ledge, and I realized I was alone. I had no idea how I was going to take my next step. I was absolutely emotionally paralyzed. And then I pulled myself up by my bootstraps and said out loud, “No one can get you through this but you. No one.” It wasn’t some quaint affirmation you might say to yourself from the safety of the ground. This was an irrefutably true statement. Short of their getting some ladder and rescuing me, in that moment, there was nothing they could have done for me. Their soothing encouragement couldn’t have helped me with this. And they weren’t coming with any ladder. It was a defining moment for me, realizing that only I was going to save me.  There was no other resource except the one between my ears. I heard myself saying, firmly, “You just have to take the step. You just have to do it. There is no other option.” A fierce pragmatist if nothing else, I got how true that was and just stepped over my fear. It felt very much like that—a barrier I couldn’t dissolve or mitigate, but could step over. And did.
  3. Find your own way. I heard myself chatting to myself, “Just find the way that works for you,” as I walked across these ropes and boards. Sometimes I would do what was plainly expected, other times, I would walk on the outside wires only or walk sideways. Whatever worked. There was no right way.
  1. That said, there were undeniably easier ways to go that I didn’t always take—and when I did, I learned that there is absolutely no shame in taking the easy route!
  1. It gets easier. I got used to being in a constant state of peril and soon it stopped feeling fatal. In fact, in time, I rather deftly made it to the other sides! It got easier.
  1. Victim thinking escalates with witnesses. This one is a hard one to admit, but being highly self-reflective, I caught myself expressing more fear when the guides were paying attention to me. When they were busying saving the soul of another, I just got down to the business at hand and was efficient and dutiful. Interesting, yes?
  1. Just leap. The zip-line portion of the courses was by far the most fun—but first, I had to leave the safety of the platform, and the only way to do that was with a determination to “just leap!” I stood there at the first one, contemplating things, but then I just leapt. It was nothing more than a decision. Nothing.
  1. Let yourself fly. During the first zip line, I was still focused on the fear of having let go, so I was at the other side before the rather delicious sensation of freedom caught up to me. So, on the second one, I made a promise to myself to relish the fun of the easy ride and celebrate the end of the hard work!
  1. Excuses are the only things that paralyze. I came to the end of the first course and took a bathroom break. Remember, my daughter had suggested at the first platform that we could rap it up at this point, but I saw that she had gone on through. I knew, as soon as I stepped out of my harness for my break that I would be getting back in. No way was I going to let any fear stop me from finishing! I tripped a little on the way to the porta-potty and looked down to find a flap at the toe of my sneaker; my tread was peeling away—and I knew if they saw it, they wouldn’t let me continue. So, I reached down and pulled it off—the entire tread—because I was not going to let so insignificant of an excuse let me off. I’m proud of myself for that one!
  1. Hold on to—and remember—what supports you. My daughter’s own pragmatism showed in the car ride back, as we talked about this. Apparently, she’d experienced next-to-no fear. “How is that possible?” I asked her. “Mom, there’s no way you can actually fall. That lifeline supports you the entire time.” I found it incredible—truly—that I had never once given that thought. I chose (and it was entirely a choice) to completely forget that I was fully supported all the way and I could not fall. I actually chose to think I was unsupported—and that’s why there was any fear at all. Big, big, big life lesson there, wouldn’t you say?

I went home and took a luxurious thirty-minute nap, a delicious hot shower, and had a glass of wine at dinner to celebrate my victory. I recalled, as I fell into bed at midnight, dead-exhausted and aching, how I’d called down to one of the guides: “Why on God’s green earth did I decide to do this for Mother’s Day????”

He said, “Because it’s a gift to yourself.”

He knew then what I couldn’t—and was so right. Never again can I feel fear about taking any step–in business and leadership or otherwise–and not remember every single one of the lessons I learned forty feet in the air. The biggest one? Remember what supports me and remember when it comes to fear, only I can get myself out.

I am talking a lot these days about Leadership Self-Mastery. One cannot lead until one leads himself. One cannot influence until he influences himself. That’s what I did this Mother’s Day.

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