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Breaking All Known Barriers: The Tell-All Secrets of an Inspired Leader
January 9, 2013 by Lizabeth Phelps
I have been fairly absent on the public scene for six weeks because I was busy breaking all known barriers in the virtual landscape again. I don’t say that to boast and I’m certainly not hyping it up. It’s just the truth and if you’re serious about making a mark as a leader in business this year, you want to read this post.
After my first free “Facebook Adventure” in July—The Inspired Leaders’ Summer 2012 Road Trip—I swore I’d never do anything like it again because the amount of focus and attention required was too much for any mere mortal to put forth again. But the fabled “December 2012” was looming and I knew, as a vocal proponent of the arrival of a new world consciousness with that date, that I had to lead another community event. And so I did: “The Inspired Leaders’ December 2012 Rite of Passage.”
If you catch wind that I’m planning a third, please have me committed.
The “ROP,” as it affectionately became known by its members, was far more intense than the Summer Road Trip in every way—but as such, it broke many more barriers than the first. From the Road Trip, we learned that “imagination” is not child’s play—it is powerful and that it physically, actually, changes lives. Radical life change had not been expected during that first trip—and yet it had occurred. With this second adventure, I knew what was possible and set out to activate deliberate transformation—personal and professional.
And it worked. Here are just a few acknowledgements of this fact from members. (Remember, this was free):
- “Thank you for changing my life!”
- “The shift that has occurred within me is nothing short of remarkable. I feel like a totally different person. To be able to live my life and build a business from this place is a true gift.”
- “I am so grateful I decided to participate. This went SO far beyond my wildest imagination. It literally SHOOK ME AWAKE. STOPPED ME DEAD IN MY BUSY TRACKS.”
- “It’s hard to recall exactly what I thought I was signing up for. Something inspirational, something of great possibility. I knew it would be amazing. I had no idea it would challenge me and rock me to my core. I’m just amazed that of all the people who received your email Lizabeth, I was lucky enough to hear the call. Thank you with all my heart.”
- “Thank You Captain and Shipmates, from the deepest part of my heart, for memories made together in one of the deepest and most transformational experiences of my life — I could not have done it without your loving, caring, steadfast support.”
I am not doing this again—so I am not sharing these comments to get you to invest in my next FB adventure. I am sharing them to show you that you CAN shake it up with your business, you CAN break all-known barriers…AND YOU MUST!
Below are my tell-all secrets for doing so.
To talk to me about working to create your own break-all-known-barriers event, contact me by email at lphelps (at) inspiredleadersacademy.com.
- Get a Tribe
It is essential that you assemble a group of people who have common “qualities and quirks” as I say. This is the most important step in building your business–and lest we forget, the point of breaking-all-known-barriers is to intensify your business success. So, first and foremost, you must know who your segmented target market is and gather them.
Be sure to highlight their unique “qualities and quirks” that separate them from everyone else, and then assign an aspirational mission to them—a purpose bigger than themselves and grander than any they see for themselves.
- Get a Room and Imagine It
You need to assemble your tribe in a “container” of sorts; a room. I chose a Facebook Group. Countless times in the past, I’ve chosen a physical room. The key to the specific success I had was that it was a virtual room.
Then, once in the room, connect them by giving them a “name,” and by envisioning just what the room is. For the Rite of Passage, we were on a Flying Ship. Within a day or so, I was referring to them not just as Inspired Leaders, but as “ship mates.” On the Road Trip, we referred to each other, and still do refer to each other, as “fellow road-trippers.”
- Tell a Compelling Story
Tell a story to get them in and throughout, to keep them in. This is where my own natural facilities come in, as I used to write novels and storytelling is a natural way I think. But we can all do it, as we’ve been surrounded by stories all of our lives.
You want to tell a story about the purpose of the venture/experience/event. The story I told to enroll people in Rite of Passage was the story of December 21, 2012 being the date of a new dawn of human awareness and that they (my tribe of visionaries) had been born for these times; they were here to lead during these times…BUT they needed to prepare for the shift themselves; needed to strengthen themselves for this role and needed to do it in this particular adventure.
This story was maintained every day for 31 days. I constantly reminded them that it took extreme rigor to lead in the “new times,” and that even though they were destined to do so, they needed to (like the hero in The Hero’s Journey) pass through tests to become worthy of the task.
Like any good story, the adventure built to powerful crescendos—two in particular: one on the 21st, naturally, and one at the very end.
- Extend (and Limit) the Duration
I’ve given weekend trainings and one-day events that have been magically transformational—but to break-all-known-barriers, do something over an extended time.
BUT be sure that the extended time is limited to a certain number of days. Both of my adventures were 31 days and then they were over. Kaput. Done.
- Keep it Free
I reflected a great deal on this during both of my events, since I was working far too hard and wasn’t getting directly compensated. But here’s what happened: people played hard and stayed in because of the most powerful force on earth, and ONLY because of it—their inner drive. They weren’t there because they “had to” due to a financial investment. They were there because their spirit, their will, had to stretch beyond known limits. Many, many dropped out as the month went on—but I believe many more would have left, and that the entire experience would have mutated—had money been involved at all.
- Make It a Safe Environment From the Start
A participant helped me to see that I do this well; it’s one of those attributes I just “do” but couldn’t analyze just by myself. She told me that I create a safe environment by 1. always acknowledging and validating comments; 2. never judging anything anyone says and instead receiving every question, suggestion or statement with warmth and appreciation; 3. cheer-leading and urging each person to think bigger and go deeper; 4. not giving advice, just “hearing”; 5. asking deep, thought-provoking questions from the start, thus invoking vulnerability; 6. answering those questions myself, modeling vulnerability. 7. telling them how great they are.
- Challenge Them BIG TIME
It is essential that participants be “compelled” to come every day. For the ROP’ers, it was the story I was telling, which they believed, that compelled them: they wanted to be prepared to lead in the New Paradigm. And every day, there were intense challenges. They were not about to give up on themselves. And near the end, they were not about to give up on their adventure-mates; by then, everyone was tightly knit.
So, every day, I gave them hurdles to clear in the form of either thought-provoking questions that would cause them to go deeper than they ever normally do, or in the form of exercises, or entire day-long challenges, such as the one where they were dropped into a forest and met 7 tests they needed to complete.
Every day was an adventure and an intense challenge.
- Set and Enforce Exceptionally High Standards–With Consequences
It’s hard to decide which of these secrets is “the most important.” If asked, however, I would say this one. Every single day, I was relentless in calling every participant to play at very high levels: giving deep rather than superficial answers; commenting on others’ comments—and then the big one: commenting on every post, without exception. And here’s what made this a pressure-cooker of passionate participation: I told them from the outset that if they did not play to these levels, they would need to go home.
I had people writing me, begging me not to send them home. I’m not kidding. And if one wasn’t going to be able to participate on a given day, they would write me the night before to explain—so that their seat would be held for them.
This is what every event-creator dreams of: participants who beg to stay.
- See Them As Greater Than They See Themselves And LOVE Them More Than They Love Themselves
This is what I was doing in calling them to high standards. When they didn’t see their own greatness, their own capabilities, I saw them for them. I know that at times they were weary and wanted me to just give them a break, but in doing that, I would not have been loving them, I would have been allowing them to further believe in and accept their smallness.
In loving them, I inspired them—sometimes with warm, inviting wake-up posts; other times with dance-parties after a long day’s work. Always by validating and acknowledging their efforts and levels of participation, which were extraordinary.
- Inspire Team Spirit, Team Love and Team Collaboration
It is critical that participants understand that they are there as a community, to conquer their issues together, to achieve their goals together, and to ultimately WIN—together. At first, the group is large and the community feel, while there, is tenuous. It is as the group recedes—as people fail to participate and then leave—that a fierce sense of oneness begins to seize the group. In the last 10 days of the ROP, when one member felt ready to “go overboard,” the rest of the group would rally around them, being a stand for them to stay. That was love at its best.
Team spirit and love showed up also whenever anyone shared something important or meaningful. Everyone would wrap their arms around them with warm, acknowledging comments or whoops of encouragement.
Collaboration occurred when we would meet on the page at the same time for a particular purpose—like the day of the Sandy Hook tragedy, when we gathered for an hour for a group and planet virtual “healing.”
- Get Frequent Progress Reports
Every night, I “debriefed” the day and all that they had learned. This is crucial to 1. keeping your finger on the pulse of their experience so you know how to proceed, and 2. embedding their learning, and 3. elevating the energy and locking in commitment. As they write about their progress, they become more determined to improve, and that increases their own energy levels and the energy in the room.
- Change It Up Every Day With Lots Of Creativity And Sensory Explosions
In my public speaking training, I teach participants how to “teach to the brain,” to ensure that audiences are processing and remembering the material. One of the 12 learning “accelerators” is to bring in all of the senses. Every post was accompanied by a vibrantly colored picture. I then had them activating their visual center with imagination in every post. I incorporated (and soon they were contributing) music and art images that applied to something we were doing. We ate delicious food and danced…and if you think the “imagination” isn’t real, you haven’t played with it in a while.
- Keep Control of the Room at All Times
This is a truism for any leader of a group: you must set standards, but then enforce them, and the instant—and I mean the instant—you fail to, you “lose the room.”
To run a “tight ship,” as I did on the ROP, I was present and let them know I was watching and reading their comments. They knew that I knew when they hadn’t posted in a while—and I was right on them when their answers were too superficial. At the end of a day when, as a group, they hadn’t played to their capabilities, I put up a rally-cry that could be heard from bow to stern. It was tough, but it was always, always inspirational, calling them to be bigger than they had been or believed they could be.
And I never, ever broke my promises or my consequences.
- Understand Energy And Direct It Tightly
There is no question that this is the most important secret to this kind of leadership, and again, it’s something I understand naturally and know that many do not, so I will do my best to explain it.
In a virtual room or live room, there must be a plot-line, a melody. Just as a song or classical piece, and just as a story, start out “setting the scene” with an introduction and then build in tension, take unexpected turns, and finally explode in a crescendo—so, too, your rooms must follow an “energy arc” and YOU are the one to direct it. You are the orchestra leader, the author. You must have a theme or plot-line and know how to develop it; how to create dramatic tension, suspense; how to direct the pacing, so that it is slow when you want to make one kind of impression, and speeds up to a frenzy when you need to make another. Your entire role is to keep the mood in the room “right” for the part of the story you are telling, and that entails an intimate understanding of directing energy.
When I wanted my participants to feel fear and suspense inside the storyline, (like the day the ship found itself suddenly in darkness, with the control panel no longer working), I dropped the posts at a certain pace, so that those who were on the FB page were experiencing the drama in real time. When I wanted them to feel breathless, I delivered posts quickly, one after another, or told a story within a post with page-turning prose.
No “experience”—live or virtual—will work without tightly directing the pacing and mood (i.e. energy).
- Give More Than You Think You’re Capable Of
A more common business adage is, “Give more than you think you should.” I’m saying, give more than you think you can. I continue to raise the bar on what I offer and how much of myself I bring to a business endeavor. I will admit that these FB Adventures require more than any sane human would ever agree to—and that’s why I won’t do another one, or I’ll change up the model somehow—but, yet, in going so far beyond what I thought I could do, a few things happened: 1. My boundaries expanded so that now I am capable of doing far more than I thought, which is the definition of expansion; 2. I exploded my creativity and thus my ability to truly show up as a one-of-a-kind leader. If I do more than I imagine I can, I delve into realms few others do, elevating me out of the epidemic “din” of expert sameness; 3. I raise the bar for all other business leaders, which serves me, of course, but also serves the entire world of business because everyone is now being called to higher service. And as a leader, that is my job.
Again, to talk to me about working to create your own break-all-known-barriers event, contact me by email at lphelps (at) inspiredleadersacademy.com.
Nancy Boyd says: Lizabeth, your transparency and truth are refreshing and heartfelt. As one of the participants on the Rite of Passage journey, there are hardly words to describe accurately what it was like. All I can say is that it was NOTHING like I expected; it was better. It wildly exceeded any expectations I had, and truly changed my life in ways I didn’t know it could ~ and that I deeply wanted, without ever having expressed it before.
This was deep, soul-level work, guided by a master’s hand and heart. I don’t say that lightly. I’ve studied with known masters from many spiritual traditions, some whose names everyone knows and some who are not known outside their particular circle of influence and expertise. Lizabeth ranks among those leaders, whose gift it is to lead other leaders in expanding their real selves, into who and what they intend to become, in FULL integrity and respect.
Can I just say how rare and precious this is?
Oh and there’s just one more thing I need to say. Every single one of the participants in the Rite of Passage is also very special. Each of my “shipmates” I would trust with my life. I feel deeply honored, humble, and grateful to be in their company. And to have been led through the most amazing experience of a lifetime by and extraordinary leader, Lizabeth Phelps.
What else is there to say? Only that if you ever get the chance to work with Lizabeth, just do it.
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Lizabeth Phelps says:
Thank you, dear, Nancy, for such a *heartfelt* sentiment!!!! The Ship wouldn’t have been right without you, so we’re so glad you walked aboard!
Rosa Zubizarreta says: Hi Lizabeth… WOW!!! just wanted to let you know, how inspiring it was to read this. I particularly appreciated the description of how you create a safe environment: “1. always acknowledging and validating comments; 2. never judging anything anyone says and instead receiving every question, suggestion or statement with warmth and appreciation; 3. cheer-leading and urging each person to think bigger and go deeper; 4. not giving advice, just “hearing”; 5. asking deep, thought-provoking questions from the start, thus invoking vulnerability; 6. answering those questions myself, modeling vulnerability. 7. telling them how great they are.” That is an AMAZING list…. really powerful. Lots of connections with what I teach in my group facilitation workshops. Great stuff!!!!
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Rosa, thank you!! I bet there were lots of cross-overs with group-facilitation strategies. So happy you’re out there doing that work! And thanks again for reading and posting.
Richard Sheppard says: Lizabeth’s Inspired Leaders’ *Summer Road Trip* (in July) was an interesting and enjoyable tour of America… and of ourselves. We had a lot of fun, learned a lot and gained a lot. Her Inspired Leaders’ Rite of Passage went very much deeper, transforming us so much that it is now hard to remember where we started from and how far we’ve all travelled.
We began this Rite of Passage as disparate individuals, from different countries, cultures and time-zones around the World. Many of us had issues which were blocking our progress, and had rather vague plans for the future. Amongst many other things, Lizabeth’s Inspired Leaders’ Rite of Passage helped us uncover our issues and rehearse our plans–within a safe, supportive group–so that we now have the confidence to deal with our issues and have better focused plans. An amazing achievement for a 31-day virtual program. Thanks Lizabeth.
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I am so glad you *showed up* for both, Richard…and you truly did show up. You were there every day, every step of the way, adding ideas, wisdom and *yourself*. The crumpets over there must be really special!
JJ says: Dear Lizabeth,
As one of the ROP participants, I love having this insight into what processes really impacted our group. The safety was crucial, and allowed us to go very deep without judgment of “good” or “bad” – only “is”. What really stands out for me is how we were pushed to show up, and not given an easy way out. Like you said above, that was Big Love – from you and each other. A truly inspiring 31 days that I can certainly say changed my life forever.
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JJ…AHO!
Peter O'Donnell says: Lizabeth Thank You ! The above article You wrote understated the positive impact on the participant’s lives.
As an example of leadership to model, you are the best I have seen. You are in a league of your own, in combining both business and spirit. Like Nancy Boyd, I have studied with masters in spiritual teaching. I have also studied with business masters. Your strengths are equal in both.
We all have heard the expression we are spiritual beings having a human experience. The Inspired Leaders’ Rite of Passage was the first time I had fully experienced being spiritual while doing business.
Often when participating in a training gig, there is a tendency to classify it as a business course or a spiritual course. We tend to do this in all parts of our life. There was no separation at all on this course.
One of the biggest challenges as leaders is creating unity and harmony in a group of individuals. This is challenging when all the bodies are in the one physical room. Imagine creating unity in a group when they are scattered around the world!
I live in Australia and there were shipmates in England, the Middle East, Europe, and all over the place–yet there was complete unity. When You consider the challenges that just the different time zones created, this is a phenomenal achievement.
Those reading this–do yourself a favor and don’t casually dismiss the guidelines Lizabeth outlined. The shipmates have a deep bond between us. The connection love and friendship is deeper than one could imagine. This will benefit all of us for the rest of our lives. That’s good for us. Imagine how your tribe could benefit if you were able to create the same.
Thanks again Lizabeth. You totally ROCK!
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Peter! YOU rock. Thank you. 🙂
I realized after I’d written this that there is a #16 (and probably several more)…but #16 is: “Keep Them Connected, Elsewhere.” As you know, I’ve done that with you all, and you will be amazed at what transpires. On the Mountaintop Cafe, where I transported the Road Trippers after the 31 days were over, amazing things have happened in 4 months. They are bonded at a deep, unshakable level and have helped each other through illness, death and business concerns. The last few days, they’ve sparked a video-competition amongst themselves that’s absolutely darling and hysterical. So, you have so much to look forward to, Peter, as the months pass with your Shipmates. And I am honored to have been able to facilitate that kind of connection.
Wendy Strain says: This was an amazing experience and, like J.J., I really appreciate seeing the mechanics behind the scenes. I am deeply grateful for the new family I have gained in my shipmates following the ROP and have discovered a new direction in life I had not suspected prior to attending this event. Truly life-changing in so many ways!
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Wendy, thank you for being such a strong, steadfast force throughout. 🙂
Suzanne says: I can speak from experience. I made it through the ROP. It wasn’t easy but it WAS life-changing. It provided a slew of great awarenesses both personally and professionally. Those that journeyed with me were a true gift. With Lizabeth as the captain I always felt safe and supported. We often don’t want to go to the dark places; but without it, everything remains on the surface and the deep joy and passion that could exist never finds you. There was a deep love amongst us and we cheered each other, challenged each other, and sometimes pulled each other along kicking and screaming. But in the end, those of us who made it, are bonded for life.
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Yes, in the end, the greatest gift is the family that is born. So glad you came with us, Suzanne!
Karen Brody says: Lizabeth created an unbreakable bond among us–by inspiring us to bare our souls! We not only bared the dark side, we showed each other the deepest, most creative and powerful sides of ourselves too. I will never forget being seen that way. We were pushed to our edges day after day, and we hung on, we hung together, and each of us is stronger for it in our own way. If you can imagine a relentless 31-day homework schedule — for some of us 10 hours a day at the process — you know that we were stretched and stripped down. We left a lot of baggage on that “ship.” As Lizabeth says, she could not have commanded this level of involvement and commitment from 34 people who didn’t know one another, had she not done the following things:
1. Put that identifying membrane around us and defined a common burning desire
2. Held herself to an even higher standard and demonstrated it day after day
3. Held the group to a standard that forced those not committed and not aligned to drop off.
It was an unforgettable journey and I’m honored to be among the survivors! If you get a chance to work with Lizabeth do it. She’ll rock your world! You’ll emerge like a new-born baby – free of the past and its tired restraints — ready to do what you are meant to do! Thank you with all my heart, Lizabeth.
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It is very special to be one of the survivors, isn’t it, Karen? It *changes* you–that alone. You rocked it the whole time! Many in the group could look to you as a role model, for sure. xxoo
Lena says: Thanks so much Lizabeth for the ROP. It really changed my life and helped me know myself and my “problems” better. I loved it all: the safe environment, the inspiring energy, the connection with the shipmates, the creativity (awesome photos, songs and videos) and the way you made us use our imagination. It was so much fun and emotional too, sometimes ;). And after having survived this journey together we are stronger and changed forever! Thanks again Lizabeth, you rock!!! 🙂
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You were one of the steady travelers, Lena! Always there, always participating, and I’m so glad bc that means you’re with us forever.:-)
Christine O'Dell says: I was one of the participants in Lizabeth’s Inspired Leaders Rite of Passage. It was the most life-shifting journey I have ever gone on. We were required to break-all-known-barriers within ourselves daily — and even hourly as we walked the path from our OLD lives into our NEW lives — lives changed by the shifting energies of the New World Paradigm. Connection, creativity and “having each others backs” were our daily nourishment. We were challenged and championed until we thought we could go no further — and then we managed to take yet another step. Lizabeth’s tell all secrets should become your sacred tools for your business everyday. Thank you Lizabeth for your inspiring leadership!
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Thank you for being with us, Christine. It couldn’t have been what it was without you.
Pattie Craumer says: Yes, I too, embarked on the Rite of Passage journey with Lizabeth and some very special shipmates for 31 days, thinking naively that it would ‘expand my life’. Lizabeth does nothing small or ordinary, so this experience took me into places of myself that i didn’t know existed. She had high expectations, was relentless about the way we showed up every single day, and she transformed us through her indescribable ability to lead. I’m forever changed by this month, because I now see what is possible within each human being when we don’t settle, don’t run away, and don’t take less that our very best. I feel a whole new aliveness and sense of possibility that I clearly would not have discovered with out Lizabeth’s fearless leadership and my shipmates’ commitment, vulnerability, and love. Lizabeth is truly ‘one of a kind’. And this ROP journey has completely changed my life. I am grateful forever that the stars aligned and I got on board. If you can find your way to work with anyone to bring your passion to the world, choose Lizabeth. You’ll never be the same again, either!
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What a great line, Pattie: “I’m forever changed by this month, because I now see what is possible within each human being when we don’t settle.” If that’s what you got from the ROP, I’m grateful you were with us! And thank you for your very high praise. Aho!
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