Your Life Story: Blockbuster or Straight-to-DVD?

 What if life is a story?

You know, a tale with a setting, characters, plot, maybe even a moral—and where you’re the protagonist? The hero/heroine.

Right now, if screenwriters were to knock on your door and want to put your life on the big screen…would it be a blockbuster? Or would it be a straight-to-DVD yawner filling the at-check-out bin at Walmart?

I have just finished reading a book by New York Times bestseller, Donald Miller, who was himself approached by screenwriters after the success of his novel, Blue Like Jazz. They wanted to make a story of his life, but there was a problem. (Every good story needs one, after all.) After a long interview with Don, one of the screenwriters suggested making “alterations” to his life story to improve the screenplay. As he spoke, Don’s life was becoming fictionalized and so Don spoke up, questioning this course of action.

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Freedom to Lead Series 3: Freedom from Others’ Opinions

This 10-day video series honors Independence Day in the States-July 4th–and the determination our forefathers had to be free–by looking at the freedoms entrepreneurial Thought Leaders must claim in order to be successful in business and in changing the world.

In this third video–honoring my daughter’s graduation from high school today–we look I the freedom I would most want for *her* (and you, too) : how to be free from our critics. 

[youtube width=”640″ height=”480″]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v0tgwQWhSeQ&feature=youtu.be[/youtube]

Freedom to Lead Series 2: Freedom from Business Development Overload!

This 10-day video series honors Independence Day in the States-July 4th–and the determination our forefathers had to be free–by looking at the freedoms entrepreneurial Thought Leaders must claim in order to be successful in business and in changing the world.

In this second video, we look at a freedom a great many start-up Thought Leader entrepreneurs need–the freedom from too much advice!

[youtube width=”640″ height=”480″]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FxqVZ1xIRNI[/youtube]

When Courage Calls You to the Plane Door

My daughter went skydiving Saturday. You see here just one of over one hundred photographs of this great act of courage. She was afraid that morning–and was indirectly asking me to let her off the hook. (I had bought this for her for Christmas.) I told her that she didn’t have to go; that the decision was entirely in her control—but that she’d have to make the decision from the site, not from the comfort of home.

We arrived early enough for her to watch several others land and she rather quickly became comfortable with the idea and got herself harnessed. She and I talked about this being a metaphor for “leaving the nest,” (she’s going to college in two months) and we established another metaphor, too, when I asked her to fill in the blank, “If I can jump out of a plane, I can _____________!”

The woman told her that the “Oh, *$#! Moment” would be when the door to the plane opened at 10,000 feet (that’s the height of ten Empire State Buildings, by the way), but Courtney said she didn’t feel terror then. She said she didn’t think; she “just jumped.”

I believe that, through me, she was called to the door of that plane; called to do something she would not have done for years, if ever; called to find something bigger and stronger in herself than she was fully aware of possessing. Every one of us is called to the plane door at some point in our lives. Some doors are at 200 feet; others at 20,000. The question always is, will we “just jump”?

A lot of experiential trainings make the leap that if you conquer a physical fear—such as walking on coals or breaking a brick or jumping off a cliff—it translates to your being able to conquer an emotional fear in your life. Personally, I have not found this to be true. Emotional fears can be far more crippling than a physical fear, with a far more terrifying “Oh, *$#! Moment” than you’d experience in the instant of, say, potentially breaking your hand or even dying.

I’ve had two such emotional “plane door” moments in the last five weeks. At each one, I sat nearly paralyzed at the edge, looking at the drop below me, aware that I had more to lose than I’d ever had before, feeling the nausea roil in my stomach and up into my throat—far more physical a reaction than my daughter had in the sky. In both of my cases, I did think—which was a good thing—but then, like Courtney, I “just jumped.”

And I know, with every cell in me, that I was called to those plane doors. First, I was called to the plane itself—to the last remaining fear that I had masterfully avoided for most of my life. And once aboard, I was called to the precipice to face it. Lucky me, I have more emotional skydives ahead of me over the next two months, but here’s what I’ve discovered so far: with each one, I’m walking to the door with less analysis paralysis; stepping to the edge faster; jumping by design rather than default—and trusting the parachute. Trusting that it will open. Trusting that it will support me so I can really see the vista around me. And trusting that it will guide me gently to safe ground.

It may be true that my daughter will now say, “Nothing can stop me!” because she’s been right inside the ultimate “Oh, *$#! Moment.” But I can guarantee that facing my “Oh, *$#! Moments” here on the ground are making me unstoppable. These are the plane doors that really call us to our greatness. They are not metaphors, they are the real thing, and when we conquer them, when we stand at the highest height we’ve ever allowed ourselves to go in our own spirits, we are gifted with wings. And there is nothing that can stop us.

Come to the edge, He said.
They said, We are afraid.
Come to the edge, He said.
They came.
He pushed them…
and they flew.

Guillaume Apollinaire

 

A NEW Kind of “TLC” on Valentine’s Day for the Service Entrepreneur

Happy Valentine’s Day! “Tender” isn’t the word used to describe me as a consultant (as in Tender Loving Care). In fact, a recent student of mine referred to me as a passionate pit-bull. So, I don’t have anything tender for you this Valentine’s Day, but I do have a NEW meaning for TLC, that definitely expresses my love for you.

A couple of weeks ago, a client of mine referred to me as a thought leader–which I accepted gratefully and humbly–in the same instant that I clapped a hand to my head and thought, “I build Inspired Leaders…but to be much more specific, they are Inspired Thought Leaders! So, the TLC I’m giving you this Valentine’s Day is: Thought Leader Clarity….namely, the 12 Steps to Thought Leader Clarity! (TLC!)

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Breaking All Known Barriers: The Tell-All Secrets of an Inspired Leader

I have been fairly absent on the public scene for six weeks because I was busy breaking all known barriers in the virtual landscape again. I don’t say that to boast and I’m certainly not hyping it up. It’s just the truth and if you’re serious about making a mark as a leader in business this year, you want to read this post.

After my first free “Facebook Adventure” in July—The Inspired Leaders’ Summer 2012 Road Trip—I swore I’d never do anything like it again because the amount of focus and attention required was too much for any mere mortal to put forth again. But the fabled “December 2012” was looming and I knew, as a vocal proponent of the arrival of a new world consciousness with that date, that I had to lead another community event. And so I did: “The Inspired Leaders’ December 2012 Rite of Passage.[Read more…]

December 21, 2102: A Report for the Discerning Visionary Entrepreneur

You can’t be here to change the world and not, right now, be contemplating what is being heralded as the tipping point of world change: Dec. 21, 2012—the end of one of the Mayan calendars and the potential dawning of a new age of human awareness.

Perhaps you believe wholeheartedly in what the Hopi’s call the “Great Shift of the Ages”; perhaps you’ve decided it’s just superstition; perhaps you’re undecided. But on some level, you’re wondering, as I am, what 30 days from now will bring.

Today, I share some balanced reporting on not just 12/21/12, but on other predictions about our collective future. [Read more…]

Rebuilding After Hurricane Sandy

I’ve walked this boardwalk *countless* times. Well, what was a boardwalk.

Every single board of this 2-mile NJ landmark was ripped from its foundation by the force of Sandy and tossed lie a rag doll into the ocean.

Of course, this is mild compared to what has happened in other areas of my beloved NJ…and my beloved NYC. I am grateful that I get to sit, right now, in Starbucks, siphoning wi-fi so that I can experience a taste of civilization. I have been without power for 7 days and am staying–if you can believe it–with my ex, in a house currently alive because of a generator. We have no phone, internet or cable, and yesterday, I sat for 2 hours in line for gasoline–much shorter due to the new “even/odd” license plate rules. [Read more…]

What Is Your High-Value-Driver in Business?

I was at a retreat about 14 years ago, where we were asked to make a list of our top 20 values. What mattered most to us and what ideals we shaped our lives around. I don’t have that list anymore, but I remember the exercise vividly. You may actually want to do the exercise as you read along, making sure not to read faster than you write. So, top 20 values.

Then, the facilitator asked us to remove 5. This was manageable and I remember the ah-ha I received from forcing the cream to the top. This was the solid 15 ideals I lived by.

Then, he asked us to remove 5 more. Ugh. But again, do-able. Can you see the next move? Yup, another 5. That one was impossible. Are you kidding me? I’m supposed to narrow all that matters most to me down to 5 words??? We all groaned and whined, certain that we were compromising or sacrificing as we chopped away. Then, the gauntlet fell, the moment of reckoning was offered to us: Take everything away but one.

It’s that single answer—that single word—that I remember so crisply 14 years later. And it revealed, without question, my true north star. It was THE value that had driven me since I was at least ten, when I’d asked a veterinarian my father knew if I could “shadow” him for the day and then came home and drafted a written test for myself and assessed my learning.

It is the single word that has driven my success in business and my success as an expert (two different things); what has driven my choice in mates and friends…and the leaving of mates and friends. It’s what has driven my parenting style; my spiritual journey. And that same value, that same word, is—though I’ve never done an official survey—the top value of my students and clients. My high-value driver is the same as those who pay me…as it can only be; we attract who we are. And as it really, should be. We should live with, clink glasses with, raise, and work with only those who value what we value.

What was my word? “Growing.”

I can’t do anything and not grow. I am highly self-reflective; intensely curious about things that capture my attention; I would far rather improve myself than be “right”. And I want the world to grow. I want extreme growth for my students, so they go out and bring growth to the world.

Whittling away what didn’t matter most for me was excruciating in the moment of that exercise, but what it revealed was precious and priceless: my high-value driver—why I do what I do. When things get choppy at home with friends or family, it is my value in “growth” that enables me to calm the waters. I seek to improve things, rather than let them be. And when things get funky in business, it is my high-value driver that pulls me through. I am here to grow myself, grow others and grow the world. Any outcome less than that will do me harm, truly, and so I’ll do whatever it takes, overcome all hard-spots to fulfill it.

So, what is your high-value driver in your business? What is the single word that conveys what you must do, and why you do it?


The Sacred Walk: From Habit to Purpose

Today, a favorite client finished The Powerhouse Method™, my 7-session private program that develops one-of-a-kind business identities (and hers rocks!). For a series of reasons, she is unable to continue with me now, so I asked her a laser “completion” question that is relevant to anyone embarking on a new business venture.

“What is the single thing you could do to derail this initiative?” (It is actually a “movement” that she is starting.) She thought a moment and replied, “Believing that I’m not equipped, that I can’t pull it off.”

I said, “What does it take to ‘pull it off’?” She rattled off at least five or six attributes and character traits of someone who would succeed at building a movement. I then asked, “And in which of those do you have the least trust in yourself?” She knew right away: “Organized daily commitment. I get side-tracked so easily and am always learning and searching and telling myself that ‘somehow I can use this.’ But what I need to do is be really focused only on the daily tasks that will directly get me where I want to go.”

So, I asked her to make a commitment—and to only speak it if she meant it. She paused and then stated that she would work a designated number of hours per day and that all of those hours would focus only on the blueprint we had laid out for her to follow over the next three months.

Then I asked, “How will you celebrate yourself for successfully doing that each day?” She gave some typically-human weak answer like, “Just immersing myself in this movement will be celebration enough.” I said, “Nope. You have to celebrate that you have mastered a new habit for the day.” And I suggested that she put some money in a jar every day, from $2-5 dollars, and then to “cash it in”–in 2 weeks at first, then 4 weeks—on some treat: a lunch out for herself; a manicure; a round of lattes with some friends. She loved that idea and committed to doing it.

And finally, I asked her, Why are you going to implement this new habit–i.e. work these very targeted hours each day?” And she said some powerful things like, “Because I cannot die with this in me. It is my life’s purpose and now that I have it, I’m not giving it up,” and, “Because it will totally make my life big to do this.” I then encouraged her to think of her market—those who will comprise the movement. “Why are you doing it for them?” And she said, “Because they will be totally expanded–completely changed forever. And so will the rest of the planet.”

I underscored her potent words by saying, “Your doing this every day, then, is a sacred walk to your purpose and to their transformation. ”

She was silent for a while and then gruffly said, “You totally got me with that, Lizabeth. It is absolutely a sacred walk.”

“So,” I summarized, “what you could do to derail this, since I won’t be there to keep you on track—believing you can’t pull it off–will be summarily extinguished with measurable habits, celebrations of those habits every day, and the daily recognition that doing this work is a sacred walk that will change, one day, millions of lives.”

This was a potent few minutes I took her through–and so I encourage you, reader, to go through a similar process:

In whatever it is you are intending: what could you do to derail it?

Answer quickly. Now.

Ask yourself, “What does it take to _______?” or “What does it take not to ______”? [For instance, you may have answered that to achieve what you want would take “not being attached to the outcome.” So, what does it take to not be attached to the outcome?]

In which of your answers do you have the least trust in yourself? Choose just one.

Make a commitment about it. But only  make it if you’re going to mean it.

How will you celebrate your habit of keeping that commitment each day?

Why will you keep it? Why for yourself? Why for your market?

Do you see that it is a sacred walk to all that you are here for and all that your market can become?

If so, hold your new habit as a sacred act every single moment.

If not, contact me. 🙂

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