The Precious First Few Minutes of a Presentation

May 21, 2010 By Leave a Comment

Audiences will not listen to you just because you’re standing in front
of a room. Did you listen to your English teachers or Social Studies
teachers just because they were there? Of course not. The ones you
listened to were the ones who earned your listening. Adults may
be more politically correct than kids and give you the impression that
they’re listening—but unless you have earned it, they’re tuned out.

How do you “earn their listening”? First, let’s talk about how you
don’t. Just in any conversation, whether with one or one thousand
people, you lose their listening when you start out talking about
yourself. They don’t care about you. Not yet. You have to earn
that. Begin by entering their world and showing them that you under-
stand them. That you respect them. When people are acknowledged,
they’re all ears.

You lose their listening if you don’t persuade them that they will
benefit from something you have to say. My daughter comes home
every day telling me “school was boring.” I don’t doubt it. Wasn’t it
boring when you went, too?  Her teachers are not enrolling  the kids
in the benefits of learning about fungi or Ancient Rome. You must
convince them that they’ll gain from listening to you–right from the
outset. If you fail at this, you’ve lost them for the rest of the ride.

You lose their listening if you’re not speaking their language. Literally.
Know the industry lingo. But at the same time, do not use your indus-
ry lingo with an audience who’s not in your industry!!! This kind of lack-
of-awareness is epidemic. Do you use words others don’t know to impress
them–or just because you’re not thinking?

You’ll lose their listening really fast if the language isn’t right, either.
 A particular pet peeve of mine is incorrect grammar. I can’t tell you how
many “professional speakers” don’t speak correct English. They lose my
listening the instant they mix up “me” with “I.” As in, “The team went to
the meeting with Roger and myself,” or “He was so much better than me
at selling.” Please read a grammar book if you’re unsure. 

You’ll lose their listening if you don’t tell them why you are up there.
 What are the education and credentials that make you worthy of their
listening? The best method is to tell us a story that explains what brought
you to this spot in front of the room. Perhaps it’s a before and after story;
or a story of an “aha” moment that changed everything. I don’t know any-
one who won’t listen to a good story. Do you really want to wow them?
Then tell them why you’re doing this over any other career/job in
the world. What about this compels you? Gets you up in the morning?
What’s in it for you? Why are you so passionate? When you answer this
for them, not only are they listening, but they’re beginning to see the
value of being in their seats.

And, of course, you lose their listening if you don’t know that.  If you
have no passion for your subject. It will show itself in your monotone
voice, flat facial expressions, slow movements, “ums” and slide-reading.
If the subject you’re speaking about isn’t worth your energy…it certainly
isn’t worth theirs!

I teach my clients and audiences how to “earn their listening”  from the
very first moment they step on stage, and, of course, how to keep
it throughout. There are many more elements to this process that are
subtle and absolutely essential. If you don’t get the results you want
from speaking in public; if you don’t get the reactions and the word of
mouth and the sales, check in to see how you “lost their listening.” Did
you start out talking about yourself? Fail to enroll them in the benefits of
listening to you? Did you speak “below” or “above” their heads? Give data
instead of a story?

Don’t worry. There’s always a next time! 

Today is the LAST DAY you can bring-a-colleague-free to my
2-day public speaking training based on the latest brain research. 
You will learn 2 sequences at this event–and the first is the 7-Point
Introduction: How to earn their listening right from the start. There
are a lot of videos you can watch on this page to see if this is the
seminar you need to attend next month. I hope to see you there!

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A Different Kind of Public Speaking Seminar–For Visionary Entrepreneurs

May 17, 2010 By Leave a Comment

Do you classify yourself as a “visionary entrepreneur”? Someone
with a big mission that must be fulfilled? There’s like no other
option? Then I hope you’re giving presentations and seminars
—in particular, “live” presentations and seminars, though virtual
conferences are better than nothing.

Why do I say that? Because if you’ve got a mission, then others
have to hear of it—not just one or two people here and there—and
you have to be impeccable in your communication of it. As
we move into these very exciting, very accelerated,  often challenging
times, the ability to reach deeply inside of others and re-arrange them
—shift their paradigms and self-imposed boundaries, show them some-
thing they’ve never noticed before—requires that you have something
powerful within you, that you then express powerfully.

Self-expression is a requirement of the visionary entrepreneur—but
just as important (and perhaps more important)—is knowing what it
takes for your information and ideas to be received by others. Too
many presenters take this for granted. They think that “loving to speak”
and telling great stories and oozing charisma is all it takes.

But how many times have you been in the audience with someone who
had all of that; someone you actually liked—yet you couldn’t follow them,
didn’t understand how any of what they said applied to you, and you
walked out forgetting virtually everything they said?

If you are serious about your mission, you need to be serious about
your ability to communicate with impeccable effectiveness. And that
means being able to teach.

On June 11th and 12th, I am giving my seventh Secrets of Impact &
Influence Live Public Speaking Event. You can read all the details
by clicking here. But I thought I’d take a moment to answer some
questions I’ve been getting about the course.

If you have big plans for yourself, I hope you’ll read on and then go
look at the webpage with all the details.

 Secrets of Impact & Influence Q & A

1)What’s different about your speaking seminar?

This training is unlike all others because it teaches you how to TEACH.
That in and of itself is the critical distinction. But it doesn’t end there. It
teaches you how to “teach to the brain.” This training is solidly based on
what the latest brain research tells us about learning and memory. That
information is “must-know” for anyone speaking to groups. I will go
so far as to say that if you don’t know this, you are being irresponsible
with your audiences.

After this training, you will be better than 95% of trained teachers out
there for SURE and absolutely better than 99% of presenters. If “being
the best” is your thing, this is right for you. You can learn all the platform
skills you want; or how to make money from speaking–but if you’re not
hands-down a killer-powerful communicator…those skills won’t get you
a hill of beans.

2) Do I have to be experienced to attend? (I.E. comfortable with speaking?)

This course—because it teaches a clear, simple “system” that you will use
forever—makes it the perfect course for those who fear speaking or are
inexperienced. You can just call on the sequences I teach you and always
feel and be in control.

 3. Should I be INexperienced, then?

 I love this question. I get to smile knowingly and say, “No. You need to
be here more than anyone else.” Why? Because you haven’t studied the
brain most likely—and you aren’t incorporating all the strategies that must
be in place to get the brain’s attention, keep it, and have it remember your
material. In addition, you are most likely still mimicking the 4 cultural
influences from the middle ages (literally!) that make presenters ineffective.
(You can listen to my 90-minute teleclass that reveals what these 4 influences
are here: http://inspiredleadershiptraining.com//teleclass-replay/)

4. Do I need to have a presentation prepared to make this worth-while?

No. Come as you are.

 5. How does this “bring a colleague free” gift work?

Well, it goes away on Friday. After that, the tuition—which is already
slashed for this event—will remain the same for one week, then start to
go up sharply. But for this week, you can bring someone with you, which
could, ostensibly, cut the cost for you. They need to be someone who gives
(or plans to give) presentations or seminars, however. And if you can’t find
someone, don’t back yourself out of this. You can do this! It’s so important
that you do. No need to slip into lack consciousness…

To reserve seats for you and your colleague now, just go here:
www.inspiredleadershiptraining.com/secrets

 6) It’s really a stretch for me to go to this. What am I really
 going to get for all my travel expenses plus tuition?

 You’re walking out with THE template required to being better than 95%
of trained teachers and 99% of presenters. You’re going to learn the template
ONCE and use it 1,000 times. Which means–if you use it correctly–you are
going to have the keys to being consistently pitch-perfect for the rest of your
life. Getting powerful results from your audiences for life. Is having this power
in your hands forever worth a one-time cost–whatever it may be? If you’re
serious about being successful, and serious about your message, and you have
HIGH STANDARDS…I believe so, or I’d never bother giving this training.

7.) What’s a success story?

Actually, I just received this email from a participant who came nearly two
years ago:

“I’ve been doing quite a bit of presenting – and doing marvelously well at it.
You ask how much your course is worth. Each time I present I get a 5%
sign up rate for my private coaching (which used to be about 2%) and a
60% sign up for seminars (which used to be about 30%). My rates aren’t
cheap, particularly for group coaching, so this translates to a great deal of
money for me. So here is what you can say to your prospects: How much
would an increase of an extra 3% of sales for your high end and 30% of
your low end translate to in the course of a year…or your life? That’s what
your course is worth. Thanks, Lizabeth! –Luann Allen, Wealth Designer,
www.successfanatic.com
 

8. )Why do we go until 11pm the first night?

Because I want you to experience a DIFFERENT kind of learning. The
kind that comes from your spirit, not your brain. And that’s what Fun Night
is all about. Ask all the past participants: the 14 hours go by in a flash! You
won’t want to leave…

9.) And what’s this webinar we get for free?

It’s called “Teaching to the Brain” and I’m giving it publicly THIS
WEDNESDAY night at 7pm. All participants of SII attend free. It gives
the science of learning and memory–told layperson to layperson! I am not
a neuroscientist, but I do know a lot, and it will benefit you greatly to zoom
into the brain and see what it is you want to achieve as a presenter who’s
better than 99% of other presenters! You can read about that course here:
www.inspiredleadershiptraining.com/teachingbrain

10.) And where is it?

In lovely New Jersey. (It really is lovely here, especially in June!) At the
Marriott in ParkRidge, NJ. The hotel is very nice–pool, bar…all those
necessities. 🙂 It’s Friday June 11 and 12th 9am-11PM Friday;
9am – 5pm Saturday. Fly in to EWR and take a shuttle to the hotel.

I think that covers most of the questions I’ve been getting. And remember,
the bring-a-colleague-free special ends this Friday, May 21.

So…visionary entrepreneur, I hope you won’t jump from here to anything
else.  Go read and *watch* more about the event and see how you feel at
www.inspiredleadershiptraining.com/secrets.

I would never waste your time (or mine) giving a seminar I didn’t KNOW would
change your business (and life) forever. That’s my mission, after all–to make sure
those with big missions, fulfill them!

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Happy Birthday, Mom!

May 15, 2010 By 2 Comments

Today is my beloved mother’s birthday. For all of my life, May 15th has meant her, and has carried the DNA of her love, beauty, support and wisdom. She passed two years and two days ago, and I have—I can’t believe it–honored three of her birthdays now without also hearing her voice or giving her a hug. Every now and then I get caught in a vortex where I shake my head and think, How is it possible that the woman who gave me life isn’t alive?

I was so blessed to have the relationship with her that I did. So many daughters wrestle with their mothers. I can honestly say, I loved her in that unconditional way we know is supposed to guide our relationships but so rarely does. She made mistakes, but they never bothered me. I understood her and the love just flowed without a wrinkle. It is something I miss the most, I think: the effortless ability to truly, unconditionally love someone else. It was so easy with her.

I am sure I was able to love her so purely because she modeled that for me. This is a picture of her giving me a book that I had asked for in my mid-twenties. The delight she had in who I was and what I wanted in my life was boundless and ever-flowing. And I believe that is because she had found her way after a long and winding road in her own life, and had come to know and appreciate her own wants. She was a pioneer spirit, venturing across the country and the globe in search of adventure and beauty. Her most fruitful excavations were that of the psyche, as she spent most of her weekends in her fifties and sixties studying psychology, going to weekend retreats and workshops that explored the fringes of that science—then coming home and sharing with me.

As a teen, I was less than receptive to some of the ideas. I didn’t want to be told repeatedly that, no, she was not “making” me angry; I was choosing that emotion myself. And then there were the constant references to Transactional Analysis—the popular psychology model of the ‘70s that she had trained in–until I was ready to scream that I didn’t care what “egostate” I was in, or whether I was giving “brown stamps” or “warm fuzzies”!  Despite my adolescent resistances, she was an inarguably respected therapist and somewhere along the line, I began to absorb her wisdom and honor her exceptional ability to listen and shift me out of my drama du jour.

And when I hit my mid-twenties, I became just like her: diving into adventures of the mind and spirit, attending workshops and retreats and eventually moving into a profession that mirrored hers. Every single day, I acknowledge how thoroughly I am constructed from her—and how profoundly blessed I am. Like my mom, I take the road less traveled. I live true to myself, even if it disturbs the status quo around me. I feed my intellect constantly—and in equal measure, my spirit. I persevere. I follow what feels right in me and do what I love. I love my work and give every ounce of myself to it. And I love my family—and now pass on to my teenage daughter not only the wisdom I have gained (much of which irritates her!), but the wisdom I gained from her grandmother.

I miss her beyond words and actually do my best most days not to think too much about her because it is a cavernous loss. But today—May 15–I celebrate her extraordinary life, her extraordinary sparkle, deep wisdom, overflowing admiration for her children, brilliant smile, open and guileless heart—and that tenacious, renegade spirit that taught me to go where there is no path…and leave a trail.

Happy Birthday, Mom…Virginia K. Phelps…

The culmination of all that I learned from my mother is presented in my work, and I invite you to see what I’m doing next here.

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Oprah’s at Radio City–Christina Aguilera and Lots of Energy!

May 8, 2010 By 4 Comments

So, Oprah’s show today is live from Radio City–at least,
that’s what THEY say.  It’s not quite live–but anyway, it
was a great show and I had a very interesting question
come to mind as I was getting ready for the curtain to
rise. But before that, let me give you the scoop.

This show was celebrating Oprah’s 10th anniversary of her
magazine, so her guests were the star contributors of the
magazine:  Dr. Oz, Dr. Phil, Suze Orman and Nate Berkus
…and celebrity moms like Cybil Shephard, Jane Seymour
and Vanessa Williams, taking part in a Mother’s Day fashion
show. The big news, though, was–are you ready for this?–Dr.
Phil shaved off his moustache! And you know what? He looks
SOOO young without it. THEN came the star-power: Christina
Aguilera gave a stunning performance, blowing the roof off RC.
She is back and is in rare form, let me tell you! Gorgeous, with
once-in-a-generation pipes!  Amazing. 

It was a great time and I’m lucky my ex and I are still good friends
because he’s my source for all this. 🙂

So, as I was sitting there, waiting for the show to begin, I
started thinking about something and would love your
opinion. As all TV shows do, Oprah has a staff member who
gins-up the audience; get us really roused and energetic
before Oprah comes on. So, this energetic woman got on stage
and said things like, “Hey, New York! Let me hear you!” And
when we weren’t loud enough, she cried, louder herself, “I
can’t hear you!” She had people dancing on stage…and as I
was in this sea of energy, I recalled a comment that
someone made on my blog-telecall the other day, as
we were talking about mirror neurons.

She talked of feeling manipulated at seminars and presen-
tations when the leader “froths up” the audience, as this
woman did today. You’ll want to listen to that telecall; it
was really interesting. I gave my 2 cents about that, which
I won’t go into here, but I was thinking of her statement
when I was in the audience this morning–not at ALL feeling
manipulated. I thought of how rock and pop stars do this
same thing: they get the audience revved up. And here’s my question.

I don’t believe it can be answered without some careful thought.
It doesn’t have a shallow answer, I believe.  When and where
was the line drawn, where it became taboo to have high-energy
like that  in a presentation or seminar? (Or boardroom!) Why is
it that the woman on my call the other day associates “manipul-
ation” and “phoniness” with getting an audience ginned up before
content is delivered? Why is it okay to do it at a rock or pop
concert–and before a television show, but not at a seminar
or presentation?

When was the line drawn–and why, do you think? Truthfully,
it’s a “rule” that’s just been made up. I don’t know of any universal
Black Book that dictates this as Truth. And yet it is entrenched
in our idea of what’s right and wrong in giving presentations.

I’d love to hear your thoughtful thoughts on this.

I teach about the powerful “energy circuit” that is created in
presentation and seminar rooms, and I’d love for you to learn
more about that 2-day event. After you’ve posted your thoughts
to my question, go check out this webpage that discusses what it
is that all presenters do wrong when they’re presenting–no
matter how experienced they are: www.inspiredleadershiptraining.com/secrets

And I really look forward to your response!!

Happy Mother’s Day!!

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Monkey See Monkey Feel: Why Your Energy as a Presenter = Your Results

May 3, 2010 By 4 Comments

I tell my students all the time: “Your audiences mirror you. If you’re flat, they’ll be flat. If you’re highly analytical, they’ll go straight into their head, too. Make sure you’re emitting the kind of energy you want them feeling.” And I end with, “Your energy equals your results.”

Some students get it eventually; others never do. You can imagine, then, how overjoyed I was to discover that neuroscientists would heartily agree with my proclamations. It turns out that we have a very special brain cell that is responsible for mirroring the actions and emotions of others.

The New York Times wrote an article
on this on January 10, 2006: On a hot
summer day 15 years ago in Parma,
Italy, a monkey sat in a special lab
chair waiting for researchers to return
from lunch. Thin wires had been im-
planted in the region of its brain
involved in planning and carrying
out movements. Every time the monkey
grasped and moved an object, some
cells in that brain region would fire,
and a monitor would register a sound:
brrrrrip, brrrrrip, brrrrrip.

They discovered that the monkey brain contains a special class of cells, called mirror neurons, that fire when the animal sees or hears an action, and when the animal carries out the same action on its own.

A graduate student entered the lab with an ice cream cone in his hand. The monkey stared at him. Then, something amazing happened: when the student raised the cone to his lips, the monitor sounded- brrrrrip, brrrrrip, brrrrrip – even though the monkey had not moved but had simply observed the student grasping the cone and moving it to his mouth.

It turns out that humans have mirror neurons, as well—that are far smarter, more flexible and more highly evolved than any of those found in monkeys.

So, imagine that during one of your presentations, your brain and the brains of your audience members are being studied for electrical activity. When you feel anything, your brain will register activity in certain areas. Those same areas will be activated in the brains of your audience. The same neural pathways that light up in your brain will be lit up in theirs–instantaneously and unconsciously.

Dr. Marco Iacoboni, a neuroscientist at the University of California who studies mirror neurons, explains, “When you see me pull my arm back, as if to throw the ball, you also have in your brain a copy of what I am doing and it helps you understand my goal…And if you see me choke up, in emotional distress from striking out at home plate, mirror neurons in your brain simulate my distress. You know how I feel because you literally feel what I am feeling.”

Daniel Goleman in his book, Social Intelligence, claims that because of mirror neurons, emotions are literally “contagious.” When someone “dumps their toxic feelings on us, they activate in us circuitry for those very same distressing emotions. We “catch” strong emotions much as we do a virus—and can come down with the emotional equivalent of a cold.”

He writes also about “group contagion…which occurs in even the most minimal of groups. When just three people sit face to face with each other in silence for a few minutes, with no power hierarchy, the person with the most expressive face will set the shared tone.” He details a classic study done at Yale University where an actor was hired to be particularly confrontational with a group. “In whichever direction his emotions went, his lead was followed…but none knew why their mood had changed…they had looped into a mood shift. The feelings,” Goleman goes on, “that pass through a group can bias how all the group members process information and hence the decisions they make.”

How and what you emote in your presentations and speeches dictate the results you will get.

“Mirror neurons are leadership tools,” Goleman writes. “Emotions flow with special strength from the more socially dominant person to the less.” From the front of the room—the board room, the living room, a presentation room–you are not merely leading people to act; you are leading them to feel…a far greater influencer. But your power doesn’t end there. If you, the emotional leader, have consistent contact with another, your emotional contagion will literally change the physical structure of their brain.” 

This adds a whole new dimension to the concepts of influence and leaderhip. You have a great deal of power when you’re in front of the room. You can use that power to your own detriment, with flat, boring, serious presentations that activate flat, boring, serious emotions in them. Or you can use it to get what you want for them and for you. It turns out that smiles have an edge over all other emotional expressions; the human brain recognizes happy faces more readily than negative expressions. With a happy face and upbeat, fun energy, you will create a mirror-effect in your audiences: happy faces that walk out wanting more of you.

Like I’ve been saying: your energy equals your results. Give ‘em the best you’ve got!

I offer a special 2-day presentations-training twice/year that makes you energetically contagious with audiences, so you get results. It’s coming up next month and it’s really something to check out if you’ve got a stake in the decisions your audiences make…and it’s especially important if you’re a “visionary entrepreneur”–with big dreams and a big message.   http://www.inspiredleadershiptraining.com/secrets

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