Part 3 Business is Different For You: Don’t Do This!

burnboat

So, did you do it?  Did you go into the fields last night and have your Scarlett O’Hara moment? Did you feel that full-bodied determination to get out from the middle-of-the-curve, where everyone is okay with average?

Did you feel the hope and belief in something so much bigger for your life and your business than that?

Did you then cut-off all other options? Burn your boats? (Read part 2 here.)

I told you yesterday that if I’d had time, I would have stimulated a reckoning like this with my lackluster audience (read part 1 post here), who revealed that, deep down, good enough might just be good enough for them. Even though they’d been called to so much greater. Even though they were born to lead.

If you’d been in that room while I facilitated such a reckoning—but decided to sit it out, I’d have lost it again: you have the chance to leave average and ordinary and you’re staying in it?

So, for all of our sake’s, I’m going to assume that you went into the arid fields of your business last night and declared, “As God is my witness, I will never ___________ again!!”

And now that you are all dressed up, let’s give you some place NEW to go. Your decision to leave the crowd behind must be rewarded—and sustained—by much, much better solutions.

NonConformityWomenFashionLet’s remember what we’re achieving here by leaving the pack: the ability to be seen, to have your message heard over the roar of thousands of competing voices. The capacity to honor the Impulse that brought you to this work in the first place, which isn’t possible when you’re looking and sounding like everyone else and offering superficial, cookie-cutter business brands, packages, workshops and presentations.

So, now that you have made the courageous decision to walk away from the middle that most everyone else calls home–how do you do it? How do you stand out?

Well, not the way you’ve been taught to. Business is different for you, so you have to do business differently—which means, giving up strategies meant for everyone else.

How many of these techniques for differentiating yourself in business have you heard?

  • Stand out with your personality. Wear some signature clothing item, or accentuate your heritage, or embellish your attitude—maybe your in-your-face irreverence or quick-witted humor.
  • Stand out with your past career or adventures. You’ve been a mountain climber, so be known for helping others scale the highest peaks in their own life. Or you once were a musician, so you should help others sing their life’s song.
  • Stand out by merging credentials with a contrasting industry. You are known for having a PhD in theology but consult to corporate clients. Or you’re known for uniquely bringing your experience as a high school principal into coaching political leaders.
  • Stand out with a narrow target market. You are known for working with mothers of newborns, or with teenagers, or young couples or retirees. Now, don’t get me wrong—every business needs a narrow market!!! But in this typical strategy, you’re known for it.
  • Stand out with your unique work style. You lead education cruises or do wilderness, beach or equine coaching.
  • Stand out with your specialty. I’m a divorce coach, an ADHD therapist, a career consultant, and EFT practitioner, and on and on.

These are familiar to you, right? Straight out of the differentiation handbook.

And sometimes they workfor much the same reason that our eyes are drawn to bright, shiny objects: they have flash-appeal. But they do not last.

Furthermore, there’s a MUCH bigger problem with all of these. Can you guess what it is?

All of them are much too superficial for what you are here to do. Again—you are a different BREED of entrepreneur; a “transformation artist.” None of these brings out the voice of the Impulse.

That voice is a leader’s voice. And it’s YOUR voice.

And it’s that voice that will differentiate you in a way all of these other strategies NEVER, EVER will.

You have something the world needs–and it won’t get it unless you lead.

Business is different for you, so you have to do business differently.

Go ahead, repeat after me:  “Things are different for me.”

Yes, they are. Now this: “Leadership is going to differentiate me!”

Click here to continue this 5-day story-series and find out just what kind of leadership will set you far apart…

Getting The BEST Answer In the Room

Have you ever seen that improv game, Questions Only, where the actors can only ask questions, and the first one who answers (with a period at the end) is out?

In my public speaking training, I would bring in an improv instructor to take my students through the same exercise. Overall, each participant made it through no more than two rounds of responding to their partner’s questions before having to drop out.

Why did I have this exercise in a public speaking training? Because I had taught this point earlier in the day and I wanted to embed it in their brains:

The brain cannot abide an unanswered question. In other words, when listening to a presenter on stage, it cannot drift off to sleep, or comfortably scroll through a Facebook feed–if a question has been asked.

So, I had taught them, make sure your talks are peppered with questions!

But there was another point I wanted to drill into them—any idea what it is?

No matter how good you think you are at asking questions (if you’re a coach, you have been taught the skill, however…), you are not good enough. Far more than you will ever realize, you put “periods” at the ends of sentences that deserve question marks.

If you teach anyone, ever, at any time—or want to elicit wisdom or bring the best answers into the room–from your children, your best friend, your clients needless to say, your prospects, anyone….(Do you know what I’m going to say?)

failing to ask questions is to fail to achieve those outcomes.

Of course, Socrates understood this. The Greek philosopher invented the teaching practice of “pedagogy,” known as the Socratic Method, a dialogue between teacher and learner, where the teacher asks continually probing questions in a concerted effort to explore the underlying beliefs that shape the learner’s views and opinions.

The reason that questioning is so vital to getting the best answer in the room is that too often the answers being brought into the room are superficial. The Socratic Method naturally promotes critical thinking—the lynchpin of powerful solutions.

Political Science professor, Rob Reich, a recipient of the Walter J. Gores Award for Teaching Excellence in 2001, describes four essential components of the Socratic method this way:

  • Socratic inquiry is not “teaching,” as we know it. The students are not passive recipients of knowledge.
  • The Socratic Method involves a shared dialogue between teacher and students. The teacher leads by posing thought-provoking questions. Students actively engage by asking questions of their own. The discussion goes back and forth.
  • The aim of the questioning is to probe the underlying beliefs upon which each participant’s statements, arguments and assumptions are built (so as to ensure the soundest reasoning.)
  • The Socratic leader does not have all the answers and is not merely “testing” the learner.

The focus is not on the participants’ statements but on the value system that underpins their beliefs, actions, and decisions. For this reason, any successful challenge to this system comes with high stakes—one might have to examine and change one’s life, but, Socrates is famous for saying, “the unexamined life is not worth living.”

So, how is this relevant to you?

Well, how about using systematic, probing questioning whenever an answer is needed? And only when the best answer is needed?

If you’re a consultant—how about asking yourself, “Am I “telling” too much when “asking” should be the style of communication?”

If you’re a coach, trained in questioning–ask yourself, “Do I ever ask my clients ‘leading’ questions that yield an answer I think they should have?”

As a business leader, are you asking what your team knows–or asserting what you know?

If you are a parent, and your child comes to you, as mine did a few weeks ago with, “What should I do??” – can you bite down hard on your tongue, sit on your hands and reply with, “What are you considering doing?” Then, “How well do think that will work?” Then, “How will you feel if you do that rather than the other option?”

No answers but his/hers!

I challenge you to play the improv game this week: imagine each question is the “bird” in badminton that must be kept volleying in the air. One “statement” from you (other than “good job” at the end) abruptly ends the game of “Best Answer In the Room.”

(Warning: Teenagers detest this!!! But don’t let that deter you!)

This is such an ingrained part of my communication style, I go fairly mad when others can’t do it with me. The other day, I came up with an inventive solution. I was in a particularly difficult mental logjam and, knowing that my guy cannot for the life of him think in questions and therefore cannot ask them (despite 13 years of my trying to teach him)…

…I wrote out a series of 16 questions for him to ask me. I knew the best answer in the room could only be elicited through a series of stacking questions, and if he wasn’t equipped to conjure them, I was. He delivered them and it worked like a charm! My thinking was clarified and my decision became obvious.

According to my oldest brother, I was an interviewer at a very young age; always profoundly curiosity about others. But then, somewhere along the way, the courtroom attorney in me woke up, and the probing questioner arrived on the scene—the part of me that spots a superficial answer and knows a better one can be found.

Everyone close to me has encountered the attorney-at-law in me—or, perhaps a kinder, gentler image to evoke would be Columbo—and it is often met with resistance. I find that most people get triggered when asked to stretch their assumptions. But like Socrates, I am absolutely, positively committed to the best answer, no matter how frustrating it is for those who hit walls in attaining it.

Alanis Morisette told Oprah recently, “I like to get to the bottom where there is no lie left.” Yes. Yes. I think she channels Socrates, too.

My clients experience this level of probing inquiry from me when developing their thought leader brand and message. I puncture that surface and, at times, they wail in frustration at the wall of blankness they encounter at some points in the process. But we just keep at it, and all of them rejoice in the epiphanies that arise–that wouldn’t have if not for the really hard questions.

Inquiry of this depth may trigger your “I’m dumb” story (this is what I encounter most), but in keeping with it, it will activate the “I am so damn wise!” story. Isn’t that worth it?

And isn’t it worth giving that experience to those around you—particularly those who pay you??

So, here are a few questions:

  • What is your number one take-away today?
  • What is the first question you are going to ask once you’re done reading this—and to whom?
  • And when are you going to employ the improv game: “nothing but questions” for an entire conversation?

Can you imagine what would be possible for your work if you were asked nothing but one deepening question after another?

Do you really think that you can imagine it? Or do you just need to experience it?

Coming next week: An exciting new program from me…for thought leaders and aspiring thought leaders…if you are determined to get the very best answer in the room for your business and your legacy.

Stay tuned!!

Remember: the brain cannot abide an unanswered question. What’s your next one?

What No One’s Telling You About…

 

Now, let me expand on what you just saw in the video.

The fastest, and truly most unique, way to fix your business in the minds and hearts of your prospects is with a story–a story they have never quite heard before that awakens a higher potential within them.

”Those who tell the stories rule the world.”—Plato

Ancient storytelling
Nothing separates you from your “competitors” the way a one-of-a-kind story does. Nothing moves you more authentically to the status of a leader than a story you have conceived that educates. And nothing establishes you more distinctly in the minds of the market. A story will peel you away from the pack faster and more satisfyingly than any other differentiation strategy.

But this particular story we’re talking about teaches. It puts forth a premise that is yours and yours alone, grown from your expertise, unique perspective, and wisdom.

So, rather than being differentiated on such typical ho-hummers as, “great customer service,” “attention to detail,” “really listening to a clients’ needs”—or the flash-in-the-pan fads, gimmicks and “attention-grabbing-bling”–YOU are known for a fresh, provocative idea that has substance.

And as someone here to help change the world—can it really be any other way?

Your Teaching Story offers dramatic tension like any good novel, and supports a strong thesis like any good non-fiction work. Done right, it masterfully satisfies your followers’ left brains with proof and facts, engages their right, holistic brain that senses, feels and creates—and, most important, provokes a paradigm shift in their understanding.

Remember, you are, more than anything else, a transformation artist and so your story, above all, must produce change in your audiences.

So, your story takes them deep inside a world they know, then it shows them how broken it is, and suggests the origins of the problem (every story needs a villain!), and then ushers them (as any good hero does) into a new world, one they’ve never seen before, complete with an original new possibility and solution.

And that new possibility and solution? That’s your brand. What you’re known for. Your Teaching Story is your brand, presented compellingly.

No one else is telling you about this…because no one else is doing it.

Come speak to me about your business…and how your very own Teaching Story is just weeks away. Click here to read more and talk to me.

Determining Your Target Market: 6 Ways You’ve Probably Not Considered–Part 2

This is the 2nd in a 6-part series on mastering who your sliver-population market is. I’ve said to my students and clients for years that your market *is* your business. Without a market, you have either an unwieldy, undefined business or you have no business at all.

It is your market that will determine how you sell to them–the communication that will actually work.

Your market that will determine the free and paid programs you offer.

Your market who will create your expert-status.

Your market who will make you money.

And your market who will determine your destiny. If you are here to change the world, it is only a very segmented population that will help you do it.

There are many things I ask my private clients that enable them to take the vital step of shaping their all-important market, and recently, I’ve been directing them with these 6 tools. Today, I’m giving you the 2nd one.

 

2.    The 4 Criteria

I have found these 4 questions quickly answer whether or not a market is a smart decision. You need to have a sense of a market in order for this to help, but once you have an idea of one or even two markets, measure your options (independently) against these 4 criteria:

On a 1-10 scale (0=not at all; 10=extremely), how would you rate your TM option on the following:
 
1. How “on the surface” is their awareness of their pain?

2. How credible are you to them? (They would believe you; respect you; resonate with you.)

3. How passionate do you feel when you think of working with them?

4. How able are they to pay for you?

Every single one of these is important.

And you want to be answering at an 8 (lowest), and preferably a 9 or 10.

If a market is a 9 or 10 in awareness of their pain, this is very good. It means they have an urgent need, and your business *must* be “urgently wanted”–or you will simply sit on the shelf as a one-day possibility (if you’re lucky.) Sound familiar?

You are credible to a market if you have been through what they are going through; if you have overcome what they’re in the midst of; if you express beliefs that immediately align with theirs. If you are an 8-10 in credibility, there is a high likelihood that they will buy you.

You must be at a 9 or 10 in passion for your  market. If you are a follower of mine, you are here to effect change in the world and must want that change for a particular segment far more than for any other segment. You must be passionate about what you see is possible for them; what you think they’re here for–after all, you’ll be helping them get it. I am off-the-charts passionate about visionary entrepreneurs, those who are here to inspire change. I could do what I do for corporations, but I believe the world should be run by entrepreneurs, so I have no interest in helping executives. I used to work with any type of coach and consultant, but then decided that I only had interest in working with those who want to have a powerful impact in the world. I believe they have a purpose on the planet at this time and am extremely passionate about that and them. So, they are now the only type of service provider I work with.

And finally, needless to say, you want your market to be able to pay you at an 8, 9 or 10 level. If you answer anything lower than an 8, you will pay for it.

So, what are your answers when you take yourself through all 4 criteria?

How to Determine Your Target Market: 6 Ways You’ve Probably Not Considered

It is a constant trouble-spot for my market of authors, speakers, consultants, coaches: Determining their market. I have a free ebook to help the process, but there are so many fine hairs to split, that it’s not really enough.

The Target Market question is the biggest boulder in the way of success for an entrepreneur; the hidden answer to their struggle; and the place that gets nearly every one of them—to use a term favored by a dear friend—“wonky.”

Tussling with who it is they will serve reveals commitment issues (I have to work only with them? For years??). Trust issues. (What if this market is a mistake and everything I build for them doesn’t work?) Ego and pride. (The big successes don’t target their market; I’m going to follow them.) When these issues become so obvious that they need to be pointed out lest we spend precious time extracting bullets from their feet, I provide these incisive insight–then end the nurturing with, “Get over all of it. Just pick.”

The other day, I was working with a client on his market and heard myself moving him through six ways to grab hold of a possible market for him. I am going to share them all with you in this diagram today and comment on the first, and then write content for the other five over the next week.

So, you can, and must, evaluate your market on at least the following conditions:

 

  1. What Market “Urgently Wants” What You Have?

Even this is not a cut-and-dried question, and is hair that can be split dozens of ways, but it must be answered! The biggest problem I see for service-based entrepreneurs is that they do not ensure that they are delivering something to the market that the market would “climb over chairs to get.” They’re putting out what they want to put out.

But even if they work on this some, they’re still not reasoning it through enough. They really believe “everyone” could be served by what they offer. But this is not true. Some age-group (the fastest way to get at this if it’s a consumer market) or some company desperately wants what they have more than another. So, what is that age group? And then, what is the situation they’re in that heightens their urgent want? Did they just get divorced? Just graduate college? Did the corporation just merge? Who is in urgent pain and therefore urgently wants what you have?

You *must strike* where there is pain, or you will gather dust very quickly. And there are times in life when the pain out there that you can heal is more acute than at other times. Yes, you provide outstanding marketing services–but at what stage does a business recognize that it REALLY WANTS marketing help? Probably after about two years of failure.  Yes, you’re a great parent coach, but what situations would cause a parent to come seeking your services? There are only a few times when pain is acute: during pregnancy; toddler years; teen-age years.

Look for stages of life and situations that will cause an upsurge of interest in your solution. You are not wanted all of the time. AND you are not wanted by everyone. You are wanted at a specific moment in time, by a very specific type of person/company.

So, what are the crackling synapses in your brain telling you right now?

Stay tuned for the next installment…

The Invisible Business: Why It Hurts on a Deeper Level

Service entrepreneurs come to me because they want to be Brain-Sticky: they want
to be compelling, memorable and original in the crowded marketplace. Often, in our
first call, they are excited and prattling off the things they think make them different
enough: I really listen; I ask penetrating questions; With me, they take action; I’m
very intuitive; Clients can reach me on the weekends, etc.

This is when I have to play bad-cop.

To coaches who tell me that they’re intuitive, take people to action, and listen really
deeply, I say, “That’s what a coach does. It’s in the job description,” at which point,
the newer ones instantly deflate and announce, “I don’t think there IS anything very
special about me, then.”

The pain I hear in their voice runs deep.
When we’re in business for ourselves, there
is very little separation between “what we
offer” and “who we are.” If we aren’t offering
something special, things get collapsed and
we start thinking we’re not special. And there
is no fate worse for a service entrepreneur
than not being special. If we can’t separate
ourselves from our work, it’s safe to say we
can’t separate our egos from our work–and it is a bitter pill to swallow that
we may not be special enough to fulfill our mission and have an impact on the
world.

From the moment we’re born, every one of us wants to be special. Even as teenagers,
when blending in is ‘in’, we want to stand out to our best friend, our boyfriend, our
teachers, our sports team. Every one of us dies a little every time someone we admire
or love overlooks us. It is the human imperative to be noticed, seen, wanted,
valued–i.e. recognized as special.

This doesn’t go away when we “grow up” and become business owners. In fact, the
need is often augmented then, put on display, if we’ve had a history of being ignored
and passed over. But for others, the existential human need to be different and special
still exists. And in business, it certainly exists. It is an absolute truism: you must
be special to succeed in your own business.

So, for those whose business identities lack the “stand out” factor, there is a double-
blow: their human fear of not being good-enough/special-enough is triggered as well
as the very real potential that they will fail in business.

And for those who are visionaries, this is acutely painful…and unacceptable. If you
are here to effect change in big ways and fulfill a mission bigger than yourself, you
won’t achieve it feeling small and insignificant like you did in gym class, or by
closing up shop.

The problem is, however, that the most prevailing branding and differentiating
advice out there is superficial and not long-term Brain-Sticky. If you’re here to make
change, you must stand out in a substantive way. No gimmicks and bling.  (And no
features and benefits, either.)

Return for Part 2 tomorrow, as I share the most commonly accepted strategies for differentiation and why they don’t go far enough for any service provider—but
particularly not for those with visions to change the world. Until then, give it some
thought: how has not having a solidly different business identity pulled
on your
in-bred human fear of not being seen, wanted, valued…special enough?

A Successful Expert But Still Not Feeling Your Big Purpose? Reason #2

I’d like to round-out this discussion with the other reason you may not be feeling a BIG
PURPOSE—though you’re successful. You may not be utilizing your skills and
talents
for a far-reach aspiration: both yours and your markets’.

When I launched my 2nd business,
Inspired Leadership Training, in 2006,
I was teaching an incredible public
speaking program, Secrets of Impact
and Influence
, based on the latest
brain research in learning. What was
I helping people do, initially? For a
long time, it was “get more clients” by
using public speaking as a marketing
tool. Then, for an equally long time, 
I was helping them to “be the best
presenter in their field”—because this program really delivers that. Then, I was helping
them be responsible experts, raising their standards so they were teaching with
unparalleled excellence—a requirement, in my book, for giving paid presentations,
seminars, trainings, etc. 

But the problem was, these skills and talent of mine, which were able to produce these
promises, were not connecting to a part of me that was alive and well outside of my
business: a part that was becoming aware of and studying global human potential.
I was watching the central institutions of our world collapse around us, and the rising
up of populations demanding freedom and human rights. I knew that this activity was
going to reach a climax—and that leaders with great wisdom would start coming out of
the woodwork, as if suddenly “activated” or called to their purpose. And I knew my
market—a subset of coaches, consultants, authors and speakers–were those up-and-
coming leaders.

Despite this, I was still promoting SII around more practical goals: getting more
business and being one of the best presenters/teachers. Yet, the fact was, this
particular public speaking model was tailor-made for the leaders
.
 For
those who would be called to serve in the global human potential movement. Indeed,
that’s why I had gravitated to learning neuroscience and applying it to public speaking
in the first place!! I had known it could move mountains and mount movements—but
I wasn’t talking about that in my promotion of the course, and not even in the course,
with those seated before me!

My skills and talents were not taking my market far enough, And they were
not taking me far enough into things that mattered most to me. Finally, just a few
months ago, I leapt off the cliff and made it clear that everything I do is specifically
designed for those who want to change the world—who want to be true, inspired leaders.
Not every coach, consultant, speaker or author wants my skills to take them there
they’re more attracted to my older, more pragmatic promises–but so many do! Many
are being “called” to bigger stages every single day and the higher calling of my
skills and talents
(that extend beyond public speaking, by the way) is reaching
out to them
.

So, if you’re not feeling your Big Purpose, look at how far you are taking your followers
with your skills and talents. Where could you take them that’s bigger, higher, grander,
more meaningful—more inspirational?

If you’re one of the called—if you know you are an inspired leader—Big
Purpose known or unknown—it is your time to lead. Be sure to experience
my call Thursday, Feb. 23: A Time to Lead: Do You Dare?

10 Years in Business–Tip #44: Stop TELLING and Start Asking

In my special report, What I Know For Sure: Lessons Learned in 10 Years of Business, I list 75 topic areas that I have bumped into over ten years. And every day in October, I will randomly choose one of the 75 and expound on it. So here’s today’s:

#44 STOP TELLING. Ask questions. Demolish your urge to be “smarter” than another; to appear wiser and more together or to be right by telling them what to do or what’s best. Your job as a teacher, expert, mentor is to assist in transformation. No one will act because of a directive from you. They will shift because they feel it in them to act. And that will happen in a fraction of the time…if you remove the “period” from the end of your commentary and insert a question mark.

This is one of my favorites because it’s become so obvious to me over the years how committed most people are to telling people what to do. I’ve got more people telling me what to do in my personal life than anyone asking me powerful questions so that I arrive at the answer myself. Likewise, I have found very few coaches who can do this with me well, so finding a good coach has been challenging. I won’t say that they don’t ask questions, but they don’t know what kind to ask, how to frame them (a great question is very carefully crafted), or when and how often to ask them.

Perhaps some examples are in order for how this plays out in daily business conversation. A prospect writes to you because she finds a reply of yours, to one of her emails, offensive.  You can write her back and “tell her” why you chose to write what you did, or you can write her back and ask her to share more of her experience with you. Or better yet, get on the phone and ask her that question, as well as, “What would you have wanted me to say?”

A client is not performing to the standards you both expect. You could “tell her” or “remind” her of the standards, and even what you think she could do to improve…OR you could ask her “What is happening in your life that has you not following through on our agreements?”

It is in telecalls and virtually all other teaching venues when the urge to “tell and be important” raises its ugly-duckling head the most. Rather than tell, tell, tell, your theories, theses, proofs, data, and stories…ASK the audience: what do you think is coming next? What kind of studies do you think were done on this in the 1920’s? What are you seeing here that maybe others missed? Do you see a correlation between this and that? How would you have felt if you’d lost your nerve like that? What do you want to take forward from this?

It seems like one of the least enlightening of all of the 75 tips, doesn’t it? At first-blush. Especially if you’re already a coach. “I ask plenty of questions!” you say.  But I dare you to listen to how you communicate and see how often you  “make a statement” rather than turn it into a question. Improv troupes have a game where the players must ask each other only questions while they keep a fluid and logical conversation flowing. You can take an Improv class, but real life is a better training ground.  Go ahead. I dare you! ASK, DON’T TELL!

Get all 75 tips PLUS an invitation to join me in celebrating 10 years on a free call October 10th, PLUS much more! http://inspiredleadershiptraining.com/10Years/report/

Celebrating 10 Years In Business This Month!!

It was October 2001. After nearly nine months of rigorous study and practice, I charged out of the iPEC Coaching school in New Jersey, where I’d just earned my ICF-accredited certification, and was ready to change the world. After all, two years before, I’d left my marriage to do just that (that’s another story) and I figured it was about time I followed through.

Never mind that I had no idea how to run a business. My father had been a minister, my mother a psychotherapist and the very cornerstones of any successful business—selling and marketing—had never been skills they’d needed, and in fact, they had quite openly disparaged them. While it has become a cliché now, I was one of those who truly believed that all it took to be good in business was being good at what I did. And I was great at coaching. So, it wasn’t much of a leap, I figured, to assume I’d be great in business.

Are you laughing? I wish someone had laughed at me and set me straight back then, but I didn’t have any entrepreneurial friends or family members, so they stepped into the poppy field with me and off we marched into my fantasy.

I soon woke up. With a start.

As I’ve said, I had no idea how to sell—but it was all much worse than just that. I didn’t want to sell. Like, fiercely. I honestly would have rather starved—and if it hadn’t been for my ex-husband, I probably would have. Sales people were desperate, sleazy, manipulative. And since I wasn’t any of those, I was not going to risk my reputation and become them. Lesson 1.

I had no target market. If you’ve been a student or client of mine, you’re openly gaping right now—but I assure you, it’s true: I wanted to be a generalist coach. After all, Marianne Williamson and Wayne Dyer didn’t have narrow markets: they spoke to the whole world and so would I. Lesson 2.

Then there was the clarity thing. It was bad enough that the world didn’t really know what a “coach” was outside of sports–and while making the analogy helped, still, furrowed brows dominated the faces of those to whom I tried to describe this new profession. And since I was a generalist, I had very little compelling to say about what I did. Lesson 3.

There’s more to the story–not trying to tease, but too long for a post. Go get the rest PLUS the 75 lessons I learned the hard way: http://inspiredleadershiptraining.com/10Years/report/

How I Came to My Senses After a Fainting Spell and 2 Shady Mechanics

So, I fainted in Target on Sunday. Out of the blue.
And no, it wasn’t because of the great sales. In fact,
they say it was dehydration, but whatever it was, it
was scary. I had the oddest symptoms for about an
hour before I crumpled in a heap somewhere between
kitchenware and bedding. I found out it was due to
loss of oxygen to my brain; apparently we traverse
weird territory without our requisite O2—and for
sure, I thought I was going crazy. Then, without
warning, boom, a man’s kneeling over me,
asking if I know why I fell.
“I didn’t even know
I DID fall,” I answer, groggily looking from left to
right. Soon, I was surrounded by paramedics, police
officers and Target managers bracing themselves for
a lawsuit. Because I hit my head very hard on (something;
no one knows because there were no witnesses—but,
man, does that bump still hurt!) I was escorted onto
a hard, orange plastic gurney and fit cozily with a

neck brace. Off we went, sirens wailing, to the hospital
for tests.

It turned out that every blasted test came back normal
—which is what one typically strives for, I know—but
when you’ve interrupted your family members’ lives,
not to  mention your own all-important shopping
spree, you want something to explain the hours in
the ER. But, alas, I was diagnosed with syncope
otherwise known as fainting—and released to my
own recognizance. Such as it is.

As I was reclining back at home, my ex and signifi-
cant other took my VW to the dealership to have
them resolve an odd sluggishness I’d been experi-
encing. After sleeping eleven hours that night, (and
not one of them on my left-hand side because of
the massive bulb on the side of my head), I headed
over to the dealership to await my car’s release. And
that’s when I got the female treatment. I’ll spare
you the details, but suffice it to say there was some
unmistakable shady activity going on. Ten minutes
after I declined a $400 additional service, I was told
that the issue had, remarkably, “disappeared.” All was
fine. Then, a moment later, they came back to say
that they had a used part in stock from another car

and could slip that in to replace my faulty one. Had
I gone ahead and accepted the $400 job, do you
think I would have been told of the free used
part
? Or that the issue had miraculously disappeared?

I’ve been feeling increasing disgust over the corruption
and secrets
so prevalent in our world today—not

just on Wall Street, and in government; Big Business,
“corporate media,” our religious institutions, etc.—
but also in “small business”: the shallow and greed-
based antics playing out in internet marketing
every da
y. Having my own mechanics try to shaft
me was a tipping point for me and I decided to make
some changes in my own business. I have always
been honest and trustworthy as a business owner,
but I was following many of the Internet Information
Gurus—and this week, I unsubscribed from a vast
majority of them
. I decided they’re too slick and
phony for me; they’re the “Internet Hollywood Scene.”
The few hours in the ER, not knowing what was wrong
with me, plus the massive knock to my head, brought
me to my senses:
I’m “leaving the pack,” “escaping
the wannabees
” once again, no longer aspiring to
rub elbows with them, proverbially “sleep with them”
to get to the next level, attend their parties or adapt
their business-building strategies. (Which are, on
another note, entirely cookie-cutter, have you noticed?)

I don’t want to make money by gouging other people
of their hard-earned money. (And I never have.) Isn’t
that what the banks do? I don’t want to make money
by hosting a seminar that’s really a pitch-fest. I believe
that’s called bait-and-switch. I don’t want to make
money from obscenely inflated home-study products
or memberships. And I don’t want to tell my daughter
I made money following. Inspired Leaders don’t
follow
, they lead through inspiration. I got seduced
by the glitter and glam—but now know that all that
glitters is not gold.

I have created a questionnaire over at Survey
Monkey
, to see if my own experience reflects the
“zeitgeist,” the energy in the culture right now, about
slick, internet information marketing. You know
–the guys and women making millions of dollars on
$20,000 – $100,000 yearly memberships, claiming
they can “teach” (ha!) and “coach” (ha!). Have
you had it, too? Do they feel like shallow, slick, plastic
Hollywood types? Do you want to learn from a different
type of leader? If so, what type?

I promise to share the comments from your
peers in an upcoming blog.

By the way, in case you’re wondering: I’m doing fine…
except for the nasty bump and the bruises on my
leg and knee. I’ll be going to a cardiologist for a
“table test,” just to ensure that I don’t have a
propensity for losing oxygen to the brain. But I expect
everything to come out normal. After all, I’m still
young! In fact, the best part of the whole experience
was my daughter grumbling to me as we sat in my
ER room: “Everyone’s asking me if you’re my
sister.

It was all worth it for that!

Please
click here to take my “Have You Had It With
The Internet
Hollywood Scene?” survey.

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